KNOB OF THE WEEK.
Last week when Modus announced their players for this week I started laughing. It was a collection of old piss heads, ex cons, PDC failures and jobbers that in the past used Bob Potter's run down Salmonella center slum as a front for a weeks piss up.
Fast forward more than a decade and this collection of mutants that cannot afford to retire, all still trying to eek out a living throwing pub standard darts after spending what meager earnings they could make in the BDO on drink and most with nothing to show and still working day jobs, were all rocking up to a empty hall in this Modus shit in some sort of nostalgia event.
That would be fine in principle if there was not already an old farts tour already which is not worth a fuck, so my expectations for this were very low, and my main hope for the week in the true spirit of the BDO, was this clusterfuck fuck of chokers, potbellied jobbers, ex cons, pub players and delusional alcoholic fuckwits could provide some unintentional comedy like the BDO did for years.They did not let me down.It was 5 days of unintentional comedy moments.
The streaming opened up with Bottler O'Shea telling us how at one time "John Walton was the best player on the planet, and watching him practice in there he has still got it". Let that sink in for a second, not the best player that was in the bdo shit at that week...oh no.., but seemingly the best player on the planet.O'Shea is a fucking complete retarded cunt then this naive cunt told people that the "bdo is gonna grow". That cunt would believe anything. Then the choker and ex con proceeded to double down on this notion that Walton was throwing some great darts back stage. So I thought lets see how this over rated cunt will do against other useless cunts.
So only fitting the first game up should be Walton, against Dudbridge. Walton not only lost, the dopey looking cunt had an average of 67.55. That was not a typo. The comms who hyped this waste of skin were soon trying to make up imaginary ailments he might have in order to make excuses for the fact he is shit.....absolute shit.
Walton who was hyped by Mason and O'Shea proceeded to rock up 17 averages in the 60s and 70s.....SEVENTEEN AVERAGES UNDER 79.99. Even by modus standards this was utterly deplorable stuff in terms of quality. However in terms of unintentional comedy this was comedy gold. The lies, the excuses, the back peddling by comms, Walton even managed to win a game with a 70.90 average on Friday beating Chris Mason.
There was so many fuck ups by Walton it would be impossible to list them all, but the best was saved til Friday in his match with another useless cunt Gary Jobson where in one leg, I was in fits of laughter. The dopey cunt Walton needing 99 for the leg hit the treble 19 and single ten to leave 32 and missed the double 16 by landing in the double 19. Comms were trying to make out it was a miscount, then tried to claim it was a slip, when it was obvious the cunt is so shit he simply missed...and missed by a good distance.
He then returned for 99 and manged to fuck that up too and only score 51. He came back a third time , needing 48 for the leg, and hit the single 8 leaving tops for the leg, and his dart at tops went in the treble 5. It was hilarious, as that gimpy mouth prick Joey Deacon started to finally realize what any normal person knew, Walton is shit, always has been.
So the winner of Knob of the Week was a player who we were told was not only the best planet on the planet years ago, but "still got it"....fucking priceless.
To say the overall standard was absolute dog shit wold be an understatement. Between Monday morning and the final session on Friday night there was a total of 95 games played. In those game the number of averages in the 60s and 70s was.....80.
80 averages under 79.99 in 95 games, even by the appalling standard of Modus this was a new all time low.
As said, KotW winner Walton hit 17 of those 80 averages.
Gary Jobson who will only be remembered in darts for going head first through the doors of Bob Potters bar whilst on a hoverboard rocked up 10 of them, and he won the group on Friday, if that dont tell you how deplorable the overall standard is nothing will.
Wez Newton the black hole of entertainment, who has as much charm and charisma as a bucket of warm piss in the sun added 13 of them including a 61 average.
Bottler O Shea also reached double figures and he contributed 11 to the list, including a 69 average.
Modus Twitter who could not rim the hole of Chris Mason quick enough as he hit a freak 100 plus average in a game, somehow failed to mention the 5 averages of 76.90, 76.67, 78.74, 70.00 and 78.71 he hit. I guess that fact would not suit their agenda.
Mark Layton some pub jobber rocked up with 5 sub 79 averages, surprised it was not more as so many more averages were just on the 80 mark for a whole slew of these jobber cunts..
Barrie Bates turned up limping, has a hunched back where he could not attempt to get anywhere near an upright position, his mouth all crooked like some cunt suffering from bells palsy, or MS with Parkinsons. Poor bastard, if he was a dog he would be put down. He added 4 sub 79 averages. Alan Norris added 3 to that embarrassing total.
Mark Dudbridge (1), Ritchie Howson (2), and Scooty Eye Jenkins (2) all contributed, as did the prime asshole of Paul Nicholson. I enjoyed watching him throw absolute shit and getting embarrassed. The so called "bad boy of darts" looked like he was going to cry a few times. He is a total wanker and he added 6 sub 79 averages to that overall total which also included averages of 69.17 and 69.61
What was initially funny during the week but soon started to irritate me was the cornholer Joey Deacon and his speech impediment. There is only so many times you can hear the prick say shit like " Gawwy Wobson plays Alan Nowwis, or Bawwie Bates wequires fawty" etc.
PDC EURO TOUR
Needless to say I switched over to the PDC Euro tour earlier today and witnessing Willie O'Connor average 97 against the queer looking taffy Jim Williams was like watching world class darts after being subjected to the absolute shit in Modus.
I am sure there will be some simpleton who will cry how some Gibraltar qualifier averaged in the high 60s in the PDC as if somehow that game equates to a week long of Modus dog shit. Yes a couple of jobbers in the euro tour averaged in the 70s except in the PDC no one was winning a match with an average in the 60s, no one was winning a match like John Walton did with a 70.9 average. Here is another thing that wont be mentioned by those PDC haters with an agenda. Those useless Gibraltar qualifiers are not even PDC players, they are WDF players who only got in via a home qualifier. So again WDF shit stinking out comps is a bad thing no matter what banner it is under.The difference is in Modus you can win games with averages in the 60s and 70s and the shittiest players are back every week as evidenced all week.
With James Wade inability and utter failure in qualifying for so many Euro tours, combined with his laziness, he is in a precarious position and if results don't go his way could fail to qualify for the European championships, where he is defending £60k from a runners up spot 2 year ago. and combine that with his inability to qualify for the slam so far and he could be doing an Ando and heading for a quick tumble down the table, and it would not be unjust either, cunt has been abysmal with an attitude that stinks.
So far today Vincent Van der Voort won and moved above Wade, with O'Connor, Plaiser, Rodriguez, and Richie Edhouse all picked up wins and closed the gap. Ratajski looks fucked. Bunting played brilliant dumping out the miserable sour cunt of Gurney, always a welcome result.
BARNEY
The bald sweaty diabetic prick Barney who thinks he is fooling anyone with his new thatched head in yet another effort to crave attention this week cried about the Grand Prix and how he thinks the double in start is "out of date"
Guess what you useless cunt, you are out of date, a washed up cunt who had a great 18 months in the PDC almost 2 decades ago and did nothing since. Its almost 15 years since he won a tv ranking major, and now he is crying about an event that he could not even qualify for. I guess the pressure of trying to keep his new gold digging girlfriend happy financially whilst also supporting his ex wife must be putting him under severe pressure where he has to whore himself out for pittance to give the most retarded interviews possible to simpletons that post this shit as "news".
The 80 Averages in the 70s and 60s this week in Modus
John Walton the man of a thousand gimmicks
67.55
70.24
68.73
78.29
78.41
74.19
75.57
72.47
78.84
77.74
75.00
78.11
77.68
78.07
76.00
70.90
75.23
Gary Jobson
77.04
63.13
72.27
70.76
78.31
73.84
77.81
79.11
77.29
78.49
Wes the black hole of entertainment Newton
75.59
77.08
75.46
74.79
79.32
76.69
75.04
71.62
70.45
79.59
73.37
73.90
61.76
Bottler O Shea:
76.93
70.83
75.51
69.42
78.58
76.64
78.11
76.14
76.85
75.83
76.10
Chris Mason
76.90
76.67
78.74
70.00
78.71
Mark Dudbridge
79.22
Alan Norris
78.66
78.40
76.89
Mark Layton
77.86
73.92
75.26
73.16
71.63
Barrie Bates
74.24
73.94
75.58
78.58
Richie Howson
79.93
77.28
Asshole Nicholson
77.56
74.62
69.17
75.67
75.65
69.61
73.30
Scooty Eye Jenkins
75.39
71.74
Tony O Shea on John Walton prior to him hitting 17 averages in the 60s and 70s
"John Walton was the best player on the planet, and watching him practice in there he has still got it"
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