Justin Credible Darts

 

KNOB OF THE WEEK

It goes to the stupid Scottish prick and PDC failure Jim McEwan.  After he fluked a ton plus average in a 7 leg match he got cocky and full of himself and in an effort to mask obvious insecurity said about people knocking the deplorable standard

 "People have said online the standard isn't great, well let's see them on this stage. They are all good players here".

This notion that because a viewer is not on the stage he cannot mention the shit standard is typical of ignorant cunts. Do you have to play premier League football to talk about the standard, do you need a McLaren in your driveway before you can speak about formula 1 ? Of course not. 

He comes across as a insecure prick who cannot take criticism. It it like the cunts of Jamie Cave-In, Wayne Mardle etc when criticized would cite how they have more money than you, it just reeks of ignorance and insecurity.

In his next match McEwan's average was 9 points lower, what a surprise eh ?

In his game after that  it dropped another 8 points to a mere 84. 

And in his 4th game he even managed to go 3 sets up whilst averaging in the 80s, and then shat himself quicker than a salmonella victim from bobs kitchen, and out the cunt went 4-3.

That cemented his Knob of the week.

What is it with Scottish players that make them so unlikable ?

Warty has small man syndrome, so did Jocky, but at least he had talent, and Ando is a lazy whining prick.

Even cunts pretending to be Scottish like Krusty is a prick.

Maybe Menzies can buck the trend.

 

 

 

The Selectas rocked up to bobs rundown gaff this week in order to take the trophy of Mikuru Suzuki, whyt the dopey cow brought it with her or "arranged to give it back" I don't know.

That lump of human shit wrapped in skin Phil Barrs posted this on twitter

He got it wrong as usual and was soon back peddling and deleted the tweet. It would be the only way Bo Selecta will ever get her grubby hands on the trophy. Speaking of hideous and trophies, the WDF finally gave us a glimpse of their new trophies, and by fuck do they look hideous. Look at the fucking state of these eyesores.

 my favorite reply on twitter was this gem

Look at the base, its like some bit of 2 by 4. Absolutely tacky pieces of shit.

As for metal pizza, did the honey monster Beau Greaves take a bite out of each ?

Anyone notice anything wrong with this image ?

Why not go the whole hog and put Pinocchio and Lisa Ashton on it.Then they could put Phil Taylor, Eric Bristow and MvG on the promotional material and it would still be unappealing.

This tweet was even better...or worse depending on your perspective.

A picture of a match fixing prick who is banned from the game, in fact he is not even 2 years into a 8 year ban yet. I swear if they tried to fuck up they could not be as bad as this.

So now time for the Lakeshite Report....

• THE WDF COMEDY FESTIVAL
• SATURDAY AFTERNOON
• The event started with the lights dimmed in the hope of hiding the empty spaces, curtains closed.
• Right away the scoreboard in the first game was missing.
• Bottler O Shea spoke how the stage does funny things to people....no Tony, just you ya choking cunt.
• He also spoke about "the big stage"......I laughed at the sheer nonsense of that.
• We then got a mention of the begging liar Adams being in "the England squad"
• We were told the sudden death rule where a player had to win by 2 legs was scrapped.
• we only had to wait for the second men's game to see an average in the 70s
• Bo Selecta came out to silence, was called the Malta open champion and lost every leg as usual without a single shot at a double.
• Rhian O Sullivan said of Corinne Hammond "I played her once before, I came second"...no you dumb bitch, you lost !!
• Ben Hazel won the first set of his match with an average of 69.58 and won the match with a 72 average.
• Lazlo Kadar won his match with an 82 average, it was shit, but worse was to follow.
• Noijens won her munters match with a 64 average to finish a grim session.
• SATURDAY EVENING
• The lights seemed to be turned down even more to hide the empty arena. It was embarrassing.
• Jim McEwan hit a 101 average, the only bright thing in another bleak session, which then went to his head.
• The munters followed this and Steenbergen won her match with a 56 average....yes 56. Her opponent averaged 53
• This match consisted of a 40 darter, 2 x 33 darters, a 32 darter, a 28 darter and 2 x 27 darters.
• Rory Hansen won the match with a 75 average. Jobbertastic
• When Dave Prins won with an 89 average it almost seemed good after being conditioned to watch abysmal shit.
• Jo Clements won with a 66 average and at this point I was struggling to stay awake.
• The last match saw Justin Thompson and P...P...P..Paul Ho ..Ho..Hogan average 78 and 79. Woeful end to a woeful session
• SUNDAY AFTERNOON
• If you thought Saturday was bad, nothing could prepare you for the Sunday afternoon session.
• David Cameron had 56 for the match with 3 darts in hand, and did not even get a shot at a double and lost the match.
• Cameron had 9 darts at 80 and completely blew it. His opponent won with a 78 average.
• Paul Nicholson spent more time yapping about Wrestling that even his co presenter had to ask him how old he was.
• John Desreumaux became the second male player to win a game averaging 72.
• Rawling continued calling players by their wrong names.
• Lorraine Hyde bust 95 and lost the leg, so Kewish was throwing for the match and she missed 9 match darts but finally won with a 68 average.
• One leg was so bad Rawling suggested nearest to the bull.
• Italian Raschini with 60 for the first set busts his score and loses it, along with the match.
• Nicholson compared the Italian playing in Bobs run down hotel to Neil Armstrong walking on the moon....let that sink in.
• De Vreede needing tops hit 20 and missed 2 at double ten, ref called no score. De Vreede needing 20 was told by the ref he needed 40.
• De Vreede did not even question the ref and threw for the 40.
• Rawling asks De Vreede if his hero Barney will be watching...de Vreede said "no he is not watching". Barney was playing in a PDC event.
• Lee Shewan won his match with a 73 average, his opponent averaged 67.
• The munter match of Pruim and Mercer started with a 36 dart break of throw, Rawling said averages dont matter....what a shock !
• Pruim won the first set with a 57.99 average and won the match with a 62 average....her opponent had a 59 average
• It was without a doubt the worst session of darts in history that passed itself off as a World championships.
• The highest winning average of the entire session was 78, Mens matches were won with averages of 72 and 73.
• It was the worst session of darts I have ever seen that called itself a world championships. It was deplorable.
• SUNDAY EVENING
• Session started with no sign of the scoreboard and the camera freezing, and the place almost empty.
• McDonald bust 86....the 4th player of the day to bust his score.
• We then got the first average in the 80s of the day.....only took 7 games as Parletti won with an 88.59
• Chris Murphy told us Ihasz and her winning 71 average was "ruthless".
• The yank Paula Murphy became the second munter named Paula to get whitewashed 6-0. She averaged 53.98
• Parletti in an interview told us how he "wont beg for sympathy"....he just begs for money instead the cunt.
• The bookies favorite Scutt went out, his opponents 76 average was too much for him.
• By the time Hine beat Burt, 33 of the 44 averages were under 79.99
• Suzuki made a miscount with 18 left in her match against the atrocious Laura Turner who managed to win just 2 legs and average 68.89.
• Earlier in the day Nicholson compared Suzuki to some Japanese wrestler going to the WWE
• Richardson misses a match dart, and then loses the next couple of legs and the set but sees out the win.
• By the end of the night just 2 of the 48 averages were over 90. 36 of the 48 were under 79.99. 15 of them were under 69.99
• This standard was even lower than what even the BDO offered up.
• MONDAY AFTERNOON
• I could not watch this again, so the following howlers came for what I read on forums and social media.
• The geriatric spastic pensioner Jackie from Belgium was there, I have no idea if his carer was present.
• Comms begrudgingly admitted how empty the place was, they could hardly ignore it.
• Paul Nicholson said Warburton has the most perfect throw in world darts....Warburton scored 41 and was averaging 84 at the time.
• He then spoke about cartoons, Deta Hedman dancing, and badgers with a mullet.
• Prins started one leg with a flukey 180 and Nicholson spoke about a 9 darter, as if that would ever happen.
• Warburton beat Prins, both averaging in the 80s, Nicholson said averages dont matter.
• This was now 50 averages in the comp and just 2 over 90.
• Comms let the viewers know the tiny crowd was also made up of players.
• Nicholson told us Maria O Brien was upping her game, she then scored 2 in 2 darts in the middle of a leg.
• O'Brien won her match with a 70 average. It was now 2 averages above 90 and 50 averages below 90.
• Quest TV that was showing this decided to quit early, and stopped showing the session, bad news for those "fans" with no Eurosport 2.
• McEwan one of only 2 players to hit an average over 90 added the third 90 plus average of the comp as he dumped out Aaron Turner.
• Luke Littler was the next player to scrape into the 90 plus average as he beat Hazel who averaged a miserable 83.
• I was amazed when it was said he was only 15 years old, he must have had a hard upbringing, he looks over well over 30
• MONDAY EVENING
• Jared Cole and his 84 average was enough to batter some jobber averaging in ther 70s
• Then we got Corrine Hammond where the graphic said she was 45 years old.....5 years older than she is.
• Corrine Hammond needing 52 for the leg hits 3 and treble 17 and busts.
• Spineless Adams who giggled at everything stopped giggling to tell us these munters are "talented players".
• Rhian won a shit game against Hammond with both averaging in the mid 70s. Nicholson called it a great game.
• Nicholson on about wrestling yet again like the child he is, went on about Hulk Hogan, Rawling was getting fed up at this point.
• Veenstra dumped out Lazlo Kadar in another poor match
• Nicholson started on his wrestling again where Rawling was getting really sick of his nonsense and called it a sham of a sport.
• Raman hit only the 4th 90 plus average in the entire comp in his win over Haines
• 59 of the 64 averages in the entire comp were now under 89.99. This was even more bleak than I expected.
• TUESDAY AFTERNOON
• We got the fat farmer telling us Lakeshite is to darts what Wembley is to football.
• Most English people don't care about Wembley let alone the rest of the world who care for it even less.
• Rory Hansen told us how "I was 19 when I was handed my first pair of darts"....could they not afford a full set ?
• We were then told Nick Fullwell was the Northern Ireland captain.
• Adams the begging cunt was sat in the crowd wearing his dart shirt for absolute no fucking reason.
• Rawling another who claimed averages don't matter mentions averages after the first leg. When they went to shit, he went silent about them.
• We were told Scott Mitchell is a former winner...how ? Little Richard said this has nothing to do with the bdo.
• Nick Fullwell won a last 32 match in the "world championships" with a 75 average. The munter called it a "polished performance"
• Anca Zijlstra bust 88 in her defeat to Steenbergen. 70 average enough to win, Anca averaged 64.
• It was now 68 averages in the comp and 63 of them under 89.99.
• Nicholson called this competition "top level darts". I laughed like the cunt I am at that.
• Neil Duff beat Justin Thompson, obviously no sign of an average over 89.
• Last up was Menzies against Jones, and we were told "Fallon Sherrock is the most famous darts player worldwide".
• They failed to mention Pinocchio refused to play in this deplorable shit, guess it slipped their mind.
• Menzies average in the 80s was enough against Jones and his 80 average, Yet another session without an average over 89.99
• TUESDAY EVENING
• Desreumaux and Hurrell started the session and this was abysmal stuff that went all 5 long atrocious sets.
• For the second time that day a 75 average was enough to win a last 32 match in a so called "world championship.
• The munters followed and we got 2 more averages in the 60s.
• there was now 76 averages in the competition and only one above 93. A total of 50 of them ...yes 50....were below 79.99.
• Then we got "technical issues" that was no sound and we got glimpses of the empty hall in all its barren glory.
• We got another set, and then more "technical issues". At 2-1 in sets, Eurosport had to show highlights on the mornings action.
• This was fucking priceless, the mushrooms who tried make excuses for every single fuck up were now silent.
• Whilst Eurosport showed repeats, the game at bobs carried on which De Vreede won with an 85 average.
• 50 of the 78 averages were in the 70s or under.
• The weeping roofer Wayne Warren had his match cancelled until the following night since they could not sort out the issues.
• This was fast becoming a bigger fuck up that the o2 fiasco, and that takes some doing.
• WEDNESDAY AFTERNOON
• Darts connect was not showing the averages for Tricole and Burt.... it was a shit standard.
• Nicholson was rabbiting on about maple syrup, Belgian Jackie and Dennis Priestley's forearms.
• Everyone that attended the night before were given free tickets for both sessions on Wednesday, screaming of desperation.
• Tricole and Burt went all 5 sets to a last leg decider and Burt missed at last 6 match darts and lost...mid 80 averages.
• Kewish took the first 2 legs against Deta Hedman and was averaging 100, comms were hyping the average.
• The next leg saw Kewish win the set with a 38 dart break of throw, comms went silent about the averages.
• Deta the WDF #1 seed lost in the last 32 of a supposed "world championships" with a 65 average and without a single leg.
• I don't know if I can say Deta was whitewashed as someone might call it racist.
• Hine was over 200 points behind in a set decider and still won the leg and set against Gates and led 2-0 in sets.
• Hine with 130 for the match bust his score and lost the leg, but won the following and went through....more sub 89 averages.
• Baetens and Parletti finished the dismal session,where Baetens hit a 92 average.
• As it now stood there was a total of 86 averages and just one over 93.
• WEDNESDAY EVENING
• This began with Marsh and Richardson, and in one leg Marsh left 45 after 9 darts, and 9 darts later still had not won the leg.
• Both averaged in the 80s and we were still waiting for the second average over 93 in the entire competition.
• The worlds oldest looking 15 year old took on Veensrta in the first game of the comp where 2 players played well.
• Veenstra won with a 104 average playing superb. It was the second average over 93 in 45 games.
• Winstanley averaging mid 70s beat vicky Pruim and her 68 average according to darts connect.
• 2 of the last 16 mens matches were now played and both were one sided affairs, nothing competitive about them.
• Last up was the rescheduled Warren and Shewan match and we got Nicholson on comms sadly who went on about wrestlers yet again.
• Warren was the better player but was 2-0 down in sets and came back to win with his best performance on tv in years....a 94 average.
• Wayne in the interview then spoke how he "slammed" a pint in the interval.
• THURSDAY AFTERNOON
• I missed the first 2 games, actually I did not miss any of it, I chose not to watch them.
• Duff and Fullwell became the latest match with both players averaging in the 80s.
• Greaves and some other munter both averaged in the 70s. This was now 100 averages and just 3 over 95. 89 of the 100 were under 89.99.
• It appeared bank machines at Bobs dump were not working and it was cash only for the handful of fans in attendance.
• Again the interval breaks differed from game to game with no rhyme or reason.
• The spastic Nicholson wanted the munters field expanded cos he believes there is no difference when it comes to gender.
• Bottler O'Shea and Nicholson went on about CSI when discussing how Fullwell got his stolen car back as they had no interest in the game.
• PDC failure McEwan was showing how his previous average over a short distance was a fluke performance as he trailed 2-1 in sets averaging 79.
• O Shea then spoke how drink is part of the game, shows what his idea of darts was all about.
• The scum in the audience booed and jeered the Scot who was not happy. We were told the crowd was always respectful at Lakeshite.
• McEwan wins an atrocious leg and bottler O'Shea says the winner will look back at this as the winning leg. WTF ?
• The choking cunt then ranted on about county darts.
• McEwan reached the last 8 of a supposed "world championships" with an 84 average.
• Hurrell, won 3-0 in sets against De Vreede, averages in the 80s yet again so we got yet another session without a 90 average.
• THURSDAY EVENING.
• With the PDC Premier League and the football there was no way I was watching this shit.
• Saw on darts connect Menzies won the first set against the roofer with a 78 average.
• The BDO Champion was battered by Menzies in more mid 80s shit......that did not go down well with some.
• Suzuki and DeGraaf followed with even worse turgid shit. De Graaf won easily with a low 70s average, Suzuki averaged in the 60s.
• Both supposed "reigning champions" were now out the gap, so some new players would pic up the shitty trophies
• Bottler O Shea said "I haven't seen the new trophies yet, but I am sure that they will be a bit special".
• Muffin man took on Tricole and all I knew was Tricole won 3-1 with a 90 average.
• By the time Baetens and Marsh started the PDC PL was finished as was the Hammers football match.
• First thing I heard when I turned this on was Nicholson rabbit on about Charles Darwin.
• To go from the quality darts of the PDC in a packed arena to this WDF shit in an almost empty run down hotel was something else.
• Comms told us the 90 and 86 averages in the first set were "gripping".
• In fairness to Baetens, he improved as the game went on and was battering the fuck out of Marsh.
• Comms had no clue when the interval was when Baetens went 2 sets up and thankfully they went to no break as Baetens was flying.
• The Belgian won the match 3-0 and averaged over a ton, a fabulous performance from an arrogant prick.
• FRIDAY AFTERNOON
• Hutchinson and her 70 average beat Steenbergen who averaged 63, in a game where the "fans" booed countless times.
• I laughed when Hutchinson claimed she was a "power scorer", speak about fucking delusional.
• 100 of the 114 averages in the entire competition were under 89.99.
• Duff and McEwan followed and in one leg comms told us he Jim wont be leaving tops here, he went double 18 tops for the set.
• McEwan despite averaging around 89 went 3 up in sets and lost 4-3. I was delighted the fucker lost after his comment earlier in the week.
• Next up was Maria o Brien who fell on the walk in, then comms told us she was retiring from county darts as if anyone gave a flying fuck.
• O'Brien lost to O'Sullivan in what comms called a lakeside classic. Chalk up another 2 sub 89.9 averages.
• Last up was Tricole and Baetens, where Nicholson stopped slurping over the averages after 3 legs to tell us he played the trumpet.
• Tricole approached the oche with set darts in the fifth set, and the camera shows an old munter in fancy dress grinning like a spastic.
• Rawling telling us Baetens had a great chance for the match when it was only for a set.
• Batens with a shot at the bull for the win missed by miles, and in the last leg decider missed tops for the win and out he went.
• Tricoles 89 average was more than enough. Baetens walked off the stage without a handshake, a cunt like almost all Belgians.
• It was now 120 averages in the comp....and 104 of them under 89.99.
• FRIDAY EVENING
• Night started with Winstanley and Kewish, with Winstanley winning with her 9th match dart...64 and 62 averages
• Nicholson said he admires everyone that plays the sport.....does that include Eccles and Hankey ?
• During the Veenstra Raman game Nicholson compared Veenstra to the dead singer Prince.
• Veenstra took set 1 after Raman missed 3 set darts. Nicholson went on about aliens and a staring contest.
• Rawling said Hankey has done some good things....Nicholson went silent.
• Raman had the darts to level the match 3-3 in sets but Veenstra broke and wrapped it 4-2 in sets,wired a 9 darter, averages 94 and 89.
• Beau Greaves who comms claimed was "not well" made a miraculous recovery in minutes from whatever this mystery illness was.
• In the final match the crowd kept acting like cunts, showing again how how the respectful crowd story is just a myth.
• Menzies a former Q-school failure romped home against Hurrell.
• There was not a single average of 95 or more in all 4 quarter finals
• Since last Saturday there was 3 ton plus averages in this WDF fiasco
• Since last Saturday there was 103 ton plus averages in the PDC...just the 100 more
• Even the seniors shit that was on tonight seemingly had a few ton plus averages.
• AS IT STANDS CURRENTLY
• AVERAGES OVER 100 - 3
• AVERAGES BETWEEN 95- 99.99 - 2
• AVERAGES BETWEEN 90 - 94.99 - 13
• AVERAGES BETWEEN 80 - 89.99 - 47
• AVERAGES BETWEEN 70 -79.99 - 39
• AVERAGES UNDER 69.99 - 22
• AVERAGES UNDER 59.99 - 4
• TOTAL OVER 90 - 18
• LOWEST WINNING AVERAGES
• Men - 72.23 - John Desreumaux
• Women - 56.77 Priscilla Steenbergen
• HIGHEST AVERAGE IN ALL 4 MENS QUARTER FINALS : 94.83
• JUST 5 OF THE 128 AVERAGES OVER 95
• 110 AVERAGES UNDER 89.99
  

 

 

THE PDC PREMIER LEAGUE

The news beforehand was how the Jockanese sulk Ando was out with covid giving Hunchback a bye.
It was the first time this week we would get a night of quality darts in front of a proper crowd. 

The night kicked off with a "guest appearance" of Dave Clarke, which was my cue to go get a cup of tea.

 I never liked the fucker, thought he kissed the hole of certain players far too much and a shit replacement for Jeff Stelling, but still very sad to see a youngish guy getting a disease like that.
Bellboy kicked off the night against Krusty and both averaged well over a ton as Krusty won 6-2. After watching the WDF shit, this was fantastic timing.

In game 2 Cullen threw his usual muck and was deservedly beaten by Clayton.

 In game 3, Wade and Price went to a last leg decider despite Price averaging far higher, but Wade put in a strong leg to wrap it up 6-5. 

MvG started very poorly against Wright in semi final 1 but Wright was atrocious and MvG deservedly romped home. 

In the other semi final Clayton took on Wade, and it started with 4 breaks of throw and Clayton missed multiple darts for 4-2. Wade held and then broke and held for 5-3, and saw it out 6-4. 

In the final when Wade missed darts to hold and MvG held for 3-0, and was game over so back I went to the West Ham -v- Lyon game.

Price then posted this, Its obvious he is thick as pigshit, but those that voted are just as bad. If you cannot grasp whats wrong here, then you too are thick as pigshit,

The Euro qualifiers for Euro tour 6 &7 took place today, so a mention for James Wade who crashed out of both and failed to qualify.

Scott Mitchell made it 7 straight euro tour qualifiers he has bombed in, long may it continue.

Glen Durrant as expect bombed out again in both which I doubt will surprise anyone.

Willie O Connor failed again in these so unless he does something decent in the players champs he can kiss his Matchplay hopes goodbye.

Martin Lukeman who qualified for both has now qualified for 6 of the 7 euro tours this year.

Jermaine Wattimena wo had qualified for the first 5 euro tours missed out on both today.

Seemingly there was some seniors shit on today, but I could not give a flyingy fuck about it today, might discuss it some time later,

and lastly see if you can say any of the following  without laughing or at least giggling.

"World Champion Neil Duff"

"World Champion Thibault Tricole"

"World Champion Richard Veenstra"

"World Champion Cameron Menzies" 

Who ever wins this clusterfuck will be as much a "world champion" as Christian Kist,

Wayne Warren, the begging liar Adams , Pig farmer Mitchell etc. 

I suspect there is a lot more news I could have spoke about but what I saw of that WDF shit drained me of any enthusiasm. I think I might be a masochist after watching what I did of that deplorable shit that had around 60 add games where you could count on one hand those that were any way decent.