Friday, January 12, 2018

Knob of the Week goes to Scott Mitchell.
During his match this week he was seen running backstage as soon as his match was over....the fastest the fat cunt ever moved.
The story coming out of Lakeshite is that Paulyboy, partner of Deta Hedman and who is an EDO official was complimenting Darius during the interval of his game and high fiving Darius back stage.
Scott Mitchell seemingly was annoyed that Paulyboy was openly and loudly supporting Darius and not supporting the "England player". where Mitchell then called Paulyboy a "cunt" and a "traitor" and Paulyboy responded with some words of his own.
When Mitchell won he ran backstage where he had to be restrained from attacking Paulyboy who he tried to assault.
Mitchell who is about 6 foot 4 trying to attack a guy years older and smaller, who was not well shows what type of cunt he is.
I took great joy in seeing that cunt beaten in the comp and by a non English player as well.
I give Paulyboy some grief on forums myself but he is a good lad did not deserve that crap from a scut like Mitchell.

 The January Jobber Jamboree 2018  form the Salmonella Centre in Surrey was always going to be a competition of unintentional comedy from these morons in the BDO.
The first thing I noticed was the camera angle on the board. It was like the Frank Gallagher Effect, as if you were lying on the ground curled up looking up at the board. The audio was atrocious and summed up to perfection by a lad on twitter who said the sound of the darts hitting the board sounded like some cunt fucking apples at the side of a transit van.

The very first match saw old man Spineless Adams taking on the woeful McGeeney, and his scabies ridden arm. It was an atrocious standard that went the distance cos neither were good enough to win with ease. These low quality pub clashes with shit averages are known as "Lakeshite Classics" according to the mushrooms. The comms throughout this clusterfuck of a competition were a joke.
Vassos claimed in the second set of the match that this was "the engine room of the match" whatever the fuck that means. McGeeney is the worst former BDO# 1 I have ever seen and he fell over the line with his 86 average, an average better than what Scott Waites won this mickey mouse comp twice with.. The Daily Star later printed that Adams losing to the BDO #2 was a shock.

I laughed like a bastard when prior to Nick Kenny's match with Willem Mandigers Nicks girlfriend said Nick was wearing his lucky watch for the first time. How do you know its lucky then ?
Nick Kenny lost 3-0 in sets, so much for his lucky watch.
The rest of that session was utter shit, which was to be expected when you have 2 munters and a Gary Jobson match....still Jobson did not care, he only came for the piss up.

The evening session started with Chris Gilliland against Justin Thompson, I thought it was the worst match I have ever seen over 5 sets, I would soon realize later in the comp worse was to follow. Not a single leg in the entire match was won in 15 darts or less.
Next up was Lakeshite Choker Deta Hedman who won her game with a 66 average.
Yes, a 66 average can win you games in this comp that calls itself a "world Professional".
Next match was a yank jobber who had a 76 average in this "world pro"and then the Mitchell Darius game which was one of the few decent games of the comp.

DAY 2 started off with the expect rout of Gary Jobson by Phantom of the Opera. Oddly the same mushrooms who claim to love close games were out in force to defend one sided games as well as the BDO could do no wrong in their eyes..
They did not have to wait long for another "classic" when some Turkish jobber played the coal scavenger Chris Harris in possible the worst ever 5 set match I ever saw.
The Taffy had a 75 average, and he won the fucking match....that's how bad it was.
Next up was another munter match, here Fallon Sherrock won her game with a 70 average.....yes it was utter shit.
Last up was Mr Potato Scott Waites against Warty Montgomery, who decided to drag out his entrance and give us a laugh at him, not with him at his air guitar. He smiled and continued to smile as Mr Potato went about casually of pasting the snot out of him. Warty has since made comments which suggest he is going to Q-school , unless its all for attention which is what he loves.

The evening session started off with Nilsson against Sparidaans, when the dutch jobber was pasted 3-0 and had an average of 77. Next up another Munters match nearly made my eyes bleed when I saw the state of them, so went for a shit, which was apt, when I came back it was still going on, so went for a cup of tea, and when I came back it was thankfully over. Sharon Prinns 71 average too much for the other "player".
An all dutch jobber match followed as Derk Telnekes played Chris Landman., with Derk winning 3-0.
The spastic Paul Nicholson who took a break from discussing gay wrestling all week then claimed there was a player called Derk in the PDC - except there isn't, there is a Dirk.
Last up was Beavis lookalike, Medallion boy and fulltime jobber Wesley Harms against Wayne Warren. The Taffy roofer threw well and deserved to win, which meant we would get to see and hear his daughter again. She looked like Charlotte Church on meth who was pregnant with a gut and screaming like a banshee.
When Wayne Warren was being interviewed in the bar, Gary Jobson was still in the bar drinking. Ten hours after he got battered by Bells palsy Durrant.We all know Lakeshite is just a yearly piss up, but no point glorifying it.

DAY 3 - This was without doubt the worst day yet.There was 7 matches in toal on the monday, 14 players and not a single average in the entire day over 90.
It was so bad that even Trina Gullivers winning average of 80.62 was higher than 3 of the mens averages
First up was Michael MunterFucker who beat Dave Cameron who averaged 77.
Fatlad Daniel Day beat Craig Cadwell who averaged 80.38
Welsh Jobber Richie Edwards managed a 71 average against Danny Noppert - Seventy fucking One
The BDO call this shit a World championships.
The evening session kicked off with Belgian jobber Andy Baetens beating another jobber Scott Baker, dollowed by Bulldyke Trina winning her Munters match.
Dean Reynolds has no problem beating the atrocious Chris Harris. Harris who in his last match averaged 75, upped his game and finished with a 76 average.Worst player of the comp.
Last up was Fitton against Kiwi Justin Thompson, I could not be arsed to watch it as I knew it was gonna be shit, and seems i was right reading the comments of others.
The only bright spot was Gary Jobson lost his highest checkout bonus.

DAY 4 - Another day another useless coal scavenging Welsh Cunt got us going. He managed to come from 2-0 in sets. All he needed was an 81 average to rattle off 3 sets against Dennis Nilsson. Thats how bad it was.
Veenstra against McKinstry was up next and I enjoyed this game. The mick was appalling at the start but found some form to make a game out of it.
Next up was another munters match which was Aileen de Graaf against Bo Selecta who failed to win a single leg in the entire match..The "inform Paula Jacklin" finished with a 62.23 average, the lowest average of the competition, just lower than Rachna Davids 62.70 average..

But the best part was after the match a darts article on BBC had Paula calling for more money for the Munters game and then advertised her game against De Graaf coming was already over when the article came out.
The BDO not to be outdone by the BBC making retarded mistakes decided to make their own and posted that Paula Jacklin had 2 ton plus a game she failed to win a single leg

Last up was Geert de Vos against Derk Telenekes, Geerts winning average of 87 did not seem so bad after the shit we got all day.
The evening session saw binman Martin Phillips taking out some rubbish in Daniel Day and his 79 average. Anastasia beat the Dutch whale Anca with ease in the munters match.
Next up was Conan Whitehead, who got a promo that was so bad even i felt ashamed watching it.
He made shit of the retarded Cameron Menzies, who seemingly afterwards declared he was off to Q-school.
Last up was bdo #3 player Jamie Hughes.
Let that sink in....he is #3, McGeeney is #2, if that is not proof how bad things are in the bdo nothing will prove it. I was delighted to see MunterFucker beat the over rated mongo brummie.

DAY 5 - First up was that mincing fat scumbag cunt Mitchell against Belgian Euro Jobber Andy Baetens, in an enjoyable game, mostly because of the result which saw the farmer cunt get sent back home to his livestock, and beaten by a Foreigner to piss off the BNP crowd in attendance.
The human calculators wife was up next playing Tricia Wright in a munters match, no one cared about.
Last up in the session was McGeeney against Noppert. DannyNoppert was awful and maybe his mind was not right after recently losing his mum as I feel he would otherwise would have destroyed McGeeney and his usual 90 type average.
The evening session saw Welsh roofer Wayne Warren against Willem Mandigers, but did not watch it so dont know what it was like but the averages were mid 80s like most of the mens comp.
The next match of Phantom of the Opera against Darryl Fitton was the expected result. Fitton is shit and POTO is the most consistent player in the shit BDOeven if his bottle is questionable at times, which we would see later in the comp.
Last up  was Dean Reynolds against Mr Pototo head Waites. Glad to see Reynolds go out and take his army of mongs with him.
This evening session was possibly the best session of the was no coincidence that there was not a single munters match in the session...go figure.
The faster the BDO realize their product is already stale and adding shit munters matches only makes things worse the better.
The need to duck out the munters, let them get their own comp.
These witches claim to be as good as the men, but it the put the women in with the mens game the witches would be the first to cry.
They want more money, deta cried all week about wanting longer matches, fuck that, fuck them and fuck munters darts.

DAY 6 - This started off with the Youth final, and believe it was a decent encounter with some good finishes, but did not watch it, but was delighted to hear the PDC youngster not only won, but earned a share of Darryl Fittons highest checkout bonus.
Next was another munters match which Deta won against Prins.
The queer looking taffy Jim Williams was up next and his jammy lucky run continued with a win over Conan Whitehead with a winning averaged that broke the mythical 90 average.
Last up for the session was a second munters match which Trina and her 77 average was enough to hammer Aileen de Graaf.
The evening session started with yet another Munters match as Ashton beat Fallon Sherrock. Ashtons astronomical 73 average too much for Fallon..snigger.
MunterFucker was on next against Martin Phillips, and was an average match with the German winning. The funniest part was the Germans winning average...88.88.
The neo nazis in the lakeshite crowd might have got the joke at the time.
Was also good to see another Johnny foreigner winning.
Last up was Veenstra against Geert de vos. If jim Wailliam is the quif then Veenstra is the perm.
Geert de Vos either is the most bi polar performing player I have seen or he deliberately threw that match in some match fixing scam. It was an atrocious display and he should be fucking ashamed of himself.. Maybe he did not throw and he really is that much of a choker, lets face it Belgian are choking cunts anyway.

DAY 7 - First up was another Belgian Andy Baetens against Mr Potato Head, and the Belgian jobber led 4-1 in sets before he shat his load, choked and left the stage in tears after losing.
In the interview where he was crying you could see the other 2 belgian cunts Jackie and Geert in the background. Belgium the home of kiddie fiddlers, chokers, chocolate and  EU bureaucracy.
The comms in this game were a fucking disgrace, especially Rawling who never once tried to hide his bias and dislike for jihnny foreigner and his love for Yorkshire shit.Rawling is a fucking cunt.
The one time you would not mind seeing Chris Mason using a hammer.on

The second game of the afternoon session was the first Munters semi final and was delighted to see Anastasia Martin (well she is married) beat Trina Gulliver.

Last up was Quif boy against Phantom of the Opera and right from the off, the questionable bottle of Durrant was there to be seen,.He claimed beforehand that if he won he would stay in the BDO. That alone made me want him to win. I have zero desire to see that disfigured cunt who throws as quick as Justin Pipe hauling his bells palsy carcass to the PDC stinking up events. Even at 4-1 to the faggot looking Williams I was convinced Poto would wake up and comeback as Williams is dogshit.
And sure enough when POTO got a second set the result was never in doubt.
And with the win POTO could use the BDO contract as an excuse to make up for his lack of testicles, backbone and ambition and stay with the bdo.
The comms kept screaming POTO was staying  "for life". I would not wish that on anyone.

The evening session tonight started with Ashton against Deta in the Munters semi final, where Deta did her annual choke job. Shame as I like Deta, except when she is on comms as she is shit, and would like to see her win the title but it will never happen now.
 Next up was MunterFucker taking on Richard Veenstra and was an enjoyable game if not the best standard. The crowd was quiet for most of it, guess having 2 foreigners in this confused the "Johnny foreigner"hating scum in attendance. Was delighted to see the German lad win even though I like Veenstra as well..

I missed the game that just finished only catching glimpses of Wayne Warren against Mark McGeeney. I did however catch the vert first set and the promo for "Gladiator" Mark McGeeney. If you thought the Conan the Barbarian was bad, you saw nothing yet. I still feel ashamed for watching it, it was absolutely horrific.....everything we have come to expect from the BDO.
Caught the end of the last set as I was busy typing up this weeks report, and was hoping the coal Scavenger would win, even if it meant having to put up with the roaring and screaming daughter again.
In the 38 legs of that match McGeeney hit just 3 maximums, finished with a 91 average.....this is the bdo #2...

If the BDO #2  cannot beat the German tomorrow  it will be some disgrace.
In the other semi Poto plays Waites .
There is no doubt mentally Waites is leagues ahead of Durrant, and nowhere near as fragile, but POTO is a better scorer and if he gets his act together should win, and go on and win the title .
Part of me understands why he does not want to go to the PDC, besides him knowing he is simply not good enough, not mentally strong enough, he knows he is good enough to do a Martin Adams and sit back in the BDO and collect a 100k each year for a few years.
That is until Bo Selecta's husband reduces the prizefund to give more money to the munters,... now that would be funny and provide some great entertainment.

A mention for that spastic Paul Nicholson who spent the week sucking up to the munters and boring us all with his ridiculous wrestling talk. Not a single day this week did he give us a break from some faggot wrestling story. Useless cunt This wannabe Aussie from a Geordie shithole has the potential to be the next Tony Green....and no that's not a compliment.

Overall the standard for this comp has been on a par with recent years....shit.
 As said earlier the Musroom feeling threatened call these 5 set matches "classics" but the reality is when a guy can win a 5 set match with an average in the mid 70s you have to seriously ask how the fuck the BDO can call this a Wpr;ld Pro or a world championship.

That said there has been a handful of decent matches , and the 2 brightest parts were the Welsh roofer Wayne Warren and the German MunterFucker., while neither threw anything spectacular , they just got up and got on and showed bottle at crucial times, more than what the likes of some seeds did like the useless Mongo Hughes, Geert de vos and other useless cunts.

A Munterfucker against Phantom of the Opera is my hope for the Final but suspect its a step too far for Ze German, but hopefully proved wrong.

Some other stuff that made me laugh during the week,

Danny Crates : Batens putting out his arm to shake hands with the useless Danny Crates, who lets face it only has the job because of his disability status and to make the channel look lie its so politically correct.
I did giggle when he said today you got to hand it to Scott Waites....maybe its just my sense of humor.

Paul Nicholson claiming "The ladies' competition for me is the highlight of this year" - fucking moron. He also thought the Gulf of Mexico was near Tennesse. He then took to twitter to say the highlight of his day was the wrestling banter he had with Rawling - not the actual darts he was there to commentate on. He did upset the mushrooms when he mentioned how big the segments were on the toy winmau boards.

Chris Mason : Him saying that the bdo call it a World championships but its more a family event, did not sit well with the mushroom.

Tony O Shea : The guy seemed to spend every minute in the bar when he was not on comms making mistake after mistake, getting players names mixed up.During the Harris -v-Turk game which was atrocious and seemed to go on forever he said a bull off in a decider could take twenty minutes. It was almost as funny as him trying to boast about a bdo conveyor belt. But his funniest comment was him claiming Tony West won the masters in 2004, wrong,  Merv King won it, you should know, he beat you in the final.

John Rawling : Claimed Ashton looked good winning her game, a game where she averaged 74.
During the Turk-v-Harris game it got so bad he even admitted to "forget about the averages".

Vassos  Alexander ; He came out with this beauty, saying the doubles you miss are the ones that hurt the shit einstein.

Next Week I will be posting a complete howlers list compiled by a friend of mine.