Friday, January 11, 2019

You can imagine how bad things are when Knob of the Week is not won by a bdo player or even a bdo official during the week of Lakeshite
Not even Chris Mason who has sold his principles more often than a crack whore has sold her ass and spouted nonsensical bullshit all week and acted like he was an expert despite him never winning anything of note in his entire career, and rimmed the hole of the BDO, the same BDO he used to rip the piss out of, was winning the award.
Not even the scumbag John Rawling who loves acting the hard man on twitter with his veiled threats and his idiotic horseshit could hold a candle to the winner.
This weeks winner has to be Paul Nicholson, the man who has an arse that must be jealous of his mouth with all the shit that comes out of it, and the comp is not even over.

In a week of unintentional comedy provided by the BDO, its scumbag fans, its mostly ignorant and retarded players, the mushrooms on twitter, forums etc, it is some achievement to beat them into submission to win the award.

Too much was done and said since Saturday for me to include in the blog so here is my shortened list of mistakes, fuck ups, unintentional comedic moments, bold face lies, utter bullshit and other howlers we witnessed and heard since Saturday.



DAY 1

Half the room was empty and those there was mostly in fancy dress, yes the same type of fancy dress the mushrooms mocked the PDC for, nothing hypocritical there I guess.
There was no exclusion zone on the oche.
The spotting was atrocious which missed a Telnekes 145 checkout.
Chris Mason saying the black hole of entertainment is delighted to be at Lakeshite, as if it was some sort of pinnacle.
 Mason went on later to tell us how the world renowned Des O Connor played at the venue.
Scabies arm McGeeney miscounting and throwing for double 16 when he was on double 15, later on had 2 darts in his hand to take out 61 for the match and hit treble 14.
Who is Nigel Widmayer ?
According to the graphics the Widmayer game was a first round match....it was a prelim match.
According to comms it was Heydons debut at the World champs....except it wasn't.
No highest checkout prize fund this year either according to comms, then they changed their minds
Paul Nicholson was comparing Lisa Ashton titles to those of Bristow, Taylor and Barney.
John Rawling the spastic calls Ashton and her 2 daughters a "Darting dynasty"
Conan Whitehead with skin more like blackheads wore a shirt that Nicholson called "sistene chapel-esque".
A pissed up prostate hole Adams giggling like the fucking retard he is at everything, with his big red face.He repeated the same shit over and over and over for the week.
After the first session not one single munter averaged more than the 70s
The highest average of the comp after the entire session was 88.60 by Heydon, an ex pdc jobber.
Wes Newton is only 32 according to the graphics on screen, and is also called "Wez" on graphics.
P..p..p..p...paul Ho..ho..hogan hits a score of 7 to start a leg
Bulmer almost misses the board with an attempt at double 10, the leg and set is won with a 32 darter by Prins.
The 32 darter is far from the worst leg of the comp to come.
A 63 average was enough to whitewash an opponent in this "world pro"
Comms said Prins winning with a 62 average was "impressive".
All Spineless Adams needed was a football jersey to go with his chav soveriegn rings to complete the chav package.
I kept looking for Nigel Farage in the audience as all his supporters were there.
The retarded Nicholson spent the entire time during an all aussie match speaking about Australia.
Justin Thompson hit an 92 average, the only average higher than 88.60, ....it only took 7 games in this "World Pro"
Z list "celeb" Will Mellor screaming into the microphone like a chav...its a microphone Will, you dont have to scream like a fucking common spastic. He calls Bottler O shea the Jimmy White of Darts...true, both shit themselves in finals.
Comms say O Shea is going home after his defeat...is he fuck...he got a week of drinking in the bar to go first.
In his interview afterwards only minutes later he is shown with a pint in his hand.


DAY 2...Surely this could not be as bad...right ?

In the first match Rawling admits that not many people have turned up, which is possibly the first true thing he said.
Rawling admitted Waites would rather go for bull than a double...obviously with a bull that is fucking huge.
Van Egbom had consecutive scoring visits of 10 and 23...yes 10 and 23 and still won the leg and the set with a 24 darter
In the end it did not matter as Scott Waites won the match 3-1 with a huge 86 average....that is lakeshite winning form, after all he won lakeshite twice already with averages like those.
The Pole Kciuk was the next Johnny foreigner to have his name misspelled on the graphics.
Then showed the wrong player in the graphics, and got his home town wrong.  The only thing they got right was the guy whoever he was, was Polish.
On Eurosport's twitter they said he was Poland's finest dartist.....they must have blanked out Ratajski who won the Winmau Masters in the BDO.....fuck him I guess, he is only a Foreigner.
The match started atrociously  with Mason claiming "trust me this will get better".....except it did not, it was utter shit and the pole won the game in this "World Pro" with an average in the 70s.
Mason in an effort to make excuses for the turgid dire shit claims " we all saw the effect it had on Wes Newton" when trying to blame the stage of piss soaked planks in Bobs run down hotel.
Up next was the black female version of Tony O Shea, a complete lakeshite bottle job.
 Deta averaged in the mid 60s which surprised me, I thought it was lower if honest. They can spin the shit of how many titles she won around the world on the travel club piss up, but she will always be a choker.
The abysmal Nicholson then spouted "The greatest player never to win a world title is Deta Hedman".  forget Alun Evans, James Wade or any of the other greats of the game, a well known bottler averaging in the 60s is Nicholsons idea of the greatest....let that sink in.
Nicholson who spent the previous days obsessing about Australia now fixates on County darts, Warwickshire, Bellyboys wedding, Bananas, Zinedine Zidane, Ice Skating and other minutie.
Veenstra against Heydon was last up and we were told it was a classic. It had all the hallmarks of a bdo "classic". 2 fucking jobbers, chucking shit darts, in front of a half empty room, where the fans could not give a fuck, that went on for what seemed forever and shit averages.
Nicholson is still spouting shit , about Margeret Thatcher, Rivers and more County Darts while the match is going on.
Nicholson mentions how Janssen sshirt must be breaking copyright infringement, but this is normal practice in the thieving BDO. Remember the Jacklins breaking the law ?
Comms saying they reckon mad spastic Belgian Jackie does not have a job......
Rawling says Adam Smith Neale is in a cast because of "a result of over-imbibing on a trip over in Italy recently." According to what I read on forums Smith Neale chatted up the wrong  woman and her boyfield fucked Smith Neale down a flight of stairs.
Janssen needs double 8 with 2 darts left, and hits 11 and double 1 to leave 3.
Corrine Hammond has 68 left and miscounts and busts it and loses the leg.
Nicholson says Sherrock is wearing glasses, nothing gets past him.
Mason and Nicholson wanking themselves raw over Sherrock's 89 average acting like it was something special.
Adam Smith Neale comes out on crutches to play in a game some retarded cunts think is a " Sport". This is the day after a person receiving chemo therapy played....
Comms admitting Adam Smith Neale was pissed and got his leg broke acting the maggot......Des Selecta told us he fell off a kerb...yeah right Des.
Smith Neale arrived on stage with one good leg....left the stage without a good leg and lost with an average of 66...yes 66.
McGrath was able to whitewash an opponent with an 81 average in this "world pro". Smith Neale not only did not win a leg, he did not even get a shot of a double which would have seen his average drop even more.

Nicholson claiming 2 welsh players meeting at lakeside is very very rare. Welsh players met at least 10 times at lakeside.
Comms have 2 discussions about players occupations, how they could build houses etc, but call this a "world professional".
I would dearly love to know what is professional about this event that looks like an EDL fundraiser.
In the post match interview Wayne Warren says the word shit and the ugly blonde dumb interviewer who acts like a bitch nearly has a stroke and apologizes for anyone who was "offended".
Meanwhile in the background a guy holds a sign saying "fuck her in the pussy"
Its the BDO what do you expect the plebs to act like ?

DAY 3

A grim looking line up to start on a Monday afternoon
John Rawling announces on twitter Durrant is playing today, except he is not and the mutant contacts Rawling to tell him he is playing the next day.
Nicholson who will say anything to try promote bdo shit says Richie Burnett was the best player in the World around 1995.
Chris Mason who has sold himself more than a prostitute for a paycheck agreed.Then for the paycheck Mason would say anything, like forget his previous slating of the bdo as he once called this bdo shit "car crash tv" He thinks people have forgot this.
The so called "expert" Mason acts shocked how Andy Hamilton and Wes Newton performed so badly...maybe  them dropping down the rankings in the PDC, losing their tourcards was a clue.
Rawling tries to start a conversation about Hammers and where to buy them with Chris Mason of all people. Rawling is curious as to whether you bring your own or buy them at the venue....Mason goes quiet.
BDO fanatics on social media mock Hamilton after his defeat, the same fanatics too retarded to grasp that the player they are mocking as "useless" was the same player with shit form still managed to qualify for Lakeshite. By mocking their own player the are mocking the qualifying standard of their own bdo, and when that sinks in a new excuse will be formulated.

Of the 3 games today not a single player averaged even close to the 90s
Willem Mandigers beat the atrocious stuttering prick P..P..P..Paul Ho..Ho..Hogan with ease. Mandigers managed to whitewash him with an 82 average.
David Cameron got a whitewash over Andy Hamilton and only needed an 86 average to do so.
Oliver Ference won his match 3-1 in sets with an 82 average
Listening to the comms trying to put this shit over was embarrassing.
Justin Thompson misses 2 darts for the set, despite him averaging only 74.
Thompson starts the third set with a score of FIVE....reminds me of Paddy Power mocking the BDO..Thud Thud Thud...Five
County darts get a mention again, in fact everything is discussed and mentioned since comms are so bored with the game. The half full hall are dead and have zero interest in 2 johnny foreigners.
Comms tell us a load of fat women slugging pints in police fancy dress are not real police in case we did not know. This is also more important than the match going on.
We were told "we have not seen a 9 darter in 2019"....the last one at Lakeshite was by Paul Lim and that was TWENTY NINE YEARS AGO.
Tony O Shea makes his way from the bar to the comms box and starts right away mouthing off about Cheshire county darts.
Laura Turner comes out and Bo Selecta rushes over to hug her friend, then walks away when when Anastasia comes out for walk on.
Anastasia has 90 left for the set, hits treble 4 and then 18 to leave 60 and hits the 60 and busts the score. Ana averaged 32 points more than her opponent in the set.
Ana has 36 left for the match hits 18 and then double 10 and busts, returns and misses 3 more match darts, before returning a third time to finally seal the win.
Laura Turner averages in the 50,,,yes fifties...world pro ....snigger.
Roger Janssen led 2-1 in sets against the queer looking Williams, and the half empty room were silent. They despise Johnny foreigner at Lakeshite.
Williams with 76 left, hit 20 and then treble 20 and busts
Comms wetting themselves over Williams averaging over 100 in the first set, by the 4th set there was ten points knocked of his average. By the time the 5th set kicked off, Janssen was averaging in the mid 80s.
Daniel Day reminds me of Bellyboy Michael Smith without the beard and talent.
The retarded Nicholson telling us Leighton Rees won the first World title at Jollees, which is completely wrong.
Then claims this is the best Reynolds has ever played at Lakeshite, Reynolds was averaging 84 at the time.
The prices of beer in Sweden is the next topic of discussion
Day misses a heap of doubles and Reynolds holds throw with a 29 darter....world pro...
13, 180, 27 and 44 are the first 4 visits to the board for Daniel Day,.
Reynolds 75 average good enough to go 2 sets up.
Comms say "It's not one of those games when you go on about averages" and ...of course not, not when the stats are fucking atrocious.
Reynolds wins with a 76 average....world pro folks.

DAY 4
The place looks almost empty when the ego maniac, and annoying begging prick and attention whore Parletti takes to the piss soaked floorboards of bob's oche.
This is another game where we are told its not about averages, funny how they say that when averages are utter shit, but if they get a freak result and there is an average over 90 they cannot shut up about it.
When Polish player went 2-1 up in sets the xenophobic racists in the  tiny crowd went silent.The racist EDL, UKIP, BNP type scum in attendance went silent when the Pole won. I love seeing foreigners win and upset the plebian scum.
The pole with 2 wins has assured himself of 4.500 quid....that is how pathetic the money is.
Up after that match was Scott Mitchell who seemingly is only 38 according to the graphics
Nicholson tells us 88-93 is Scott Mitchells level.
While the game is going on the topics of discussion are the body hair on the Serbian, and types of dog breeds.
When Johnny Foreigner wins his first leg there is barely a ripple among the racist crowd.
Spineless Adams appears on stage like a child giggling at absolute nothing as usual and then proceeds to tell us Kcuik against the obese farmer will be "one of the best encounters all week". I shit thee not.
The obese farmer who is constantly groping himself spouts "We're just real people with real people around us"...work that one out.
The Vizcaya Open that Des Selecta bailed out because his wife played in it to garner ranking points is mentioned.
Bo Selecta comes out with a placard that says "Im Superproud of DES xxx BDO.forever"
The BDO twitter account congratulates Scott "Williams" on his win over Oliver Ferenc.
Mason and Nicholson in a desperate effort to make excuses for Munters darts being shit blame social clubs from 50 years ago, and then go on about men being hunter gatherers centuries ago.
Averages again don't matter, but mention Ashton having a 107 average in one set at Ally Pally....averages mattered again.
Bo Selecta throws at tops for a leg and is nearer to the treble, throws for double 10 and hits double 15 and bust. She had a dart at double 16 later that barely stayed in the board it was so far away. She loses with a 65 average....that's at least the 4th average in the 60s, along with the one in the 50s....absolutely atrocious stuff.
Comms once again speak about the " BDO Family".
We are told Warty was averaging 36 a dart coming in to Lakeshite...a 118 average....snigger....
Warty lost with an average in the 70s.
It would not be Lakeshite without a Bo Selecta and Warty first round defeat.Drawing them is almost a bye.
By the time Warty Montgomery lost there was 6 averages over 90....but 48 averages in the 80s, 70s, 60s and even one in the 50s.
Not a single game with both players averaging in the 90s.in the entire comp at this point.
Warty is interviewed after his match and the woman stands well back from him, wise decision as he previously sexually assaulted an interviewer before.
Evening session starts off Nicholson mentioning Michael Smith as one of the best players in the world.He said the same about MVG and others earlier in the week ,He is admitting the best players in the world are in the PDC and certainly not at Lakeside. This causes mushrooms on twitter to go into meltdown.
Bells Palsy sufferer Durrant hits back to back maximums and loses the leg.
Glen Durrant had a 93.90 average and he wins 3-0
He averaged 104.98 (over 11 points higher) in the PDC Grand Slam and lost......spot the difference in the codes.
The deformed midget then said Scott Baker was marvelous today......baker averaged 83.16...
Scumbag Rawling who likes to threaten people on twitter calls Casey Gallagher  Casey Kelly.
In an atrocious match Winstanley hits a score of 6.
Rawling says a 15 darter might win it for Winstanley, a 21 darter won it for her in an abysmal match.
We are told that "Laura Turner was great last night and she did women's darts no harm" she averaged in the 50s and was utter shit.
During the second set of the Gary Jobson match where he is averaging 74, the camera zooms in on the small crowd and shows a guy asleep...lol
Rawling thinks the first leg of the 4th set is for the match.
Chris Mason trying to excuse the pathetic performance of Jobson says its a long day and Jobson must have over practiced...at what ? Drinking ?
Gary Jobson averaged 55.24 in the last set. If that does not show how shit he is and how he gave up, then nothing will.

DAY 5
Day starts with Spineless and Nicholson struggling to find something positive to say about the line up.
Harms going for the wrong double after a miscount which costs him the leg.
You know how much of a cunt a player is when your own country's fans are not shouting for you. All the Dutch fans were firmly in the Mandigers camp against Wesley Harms. The copper topped cunt always seem to have a moan or complaint to go with an excuse and he wont be missed, another jobber who only qualifies because he is a full time travel club member, like Gary Jobson, Warty, and Bo Selecta all who were shown up for the jobbers they are with their annual first round defeats.

The graphics have MBE after Gullivers name....oh dear.
The next nonsense to be spouted by Nicholson is that Trina used to leave 79 after 12 “all the time”.  Amazing how every one averages well in excess of a 100 but then goes on stage and averages under 75...oh I forgot, the "pressure of the stage"
Chris Mason tells us the munter match is "thoroughly enjoyable"...a shit match where both were averaging in the 60s.
Bored off his tits Nicholson and Mason discuss golf majors and poker. Nicholson asks Mason a golf question and then afterwards thinks the question he asked is wrong., so goes back to the darts match they were ignoring.
David Camerons flight schedule, womens throwing style and weather patterns all get discussed while the munters are chucking shit.
The biggest shock of the afternoon so far was that both munters managed to break the 70 average barrier, just barely..
In the interview afterwards Bull Dyke says Lorraine Winstanley her next opponent played really well in her last game....fuck off , Winstanley averaged in the 60s ffs and did not play well.
Spineless Adams then repeats how well Winstanley is playing, guess averages in the 60s must be the standard these days.
Paul Nicholson gets so bad discussing kids tv characters, and trying to tell jokes about German cars, even scumbag Rawling is embarrassed.
Like last year Wayne Warren was great in his first game, and when pushed in a game did a Tony O Shea impression, he did the same this year, played great against a player in the first round that rolled over, but shits his load when Unterbuchner stood up to him.The German whitewashes him 4-0 in sets and an average of 91 was all that was needed.


In his last interview Bells Palsy Durrant claimed he has been the BDO #1 for 4 years as he is the best, but he was not the bdo #1 as that is why he is seeded #2.
The top seed Mark McGeeney gets an interview and claims "the best player in the world at the moment is a bloke called Jim WIlliams"...go figure.
The evening session starts with comms telling us that Conan came through a thriller with Martin Phillips last round. The retarded cunts will have you believe every utter shit game was a thriller. Conan beat Phillips with an 83 average in the game that supposedly a "thriller".
Mason then tries to tell scumbag Rawling about wrestling, Rawling has no interest and again embarrassed by this co commentator just like earlier.
The BDO #1 seed Scabies Arm goes 2 sets down averaging 82.
In the third set bdo #1 seed has a scoring visit of FIVE...and a scoring visit of 26 in the same leg.
McGeeney starts swearing on stage as he gets upset by the mong posse of Conan Whitehead.
The BDO #1 seed gets whitewashed with his mid 80 average....comms citing the averages dont matter.
In the interview Whitehead spouts this horseshit "The man's world #1, he's a legend"
Next game Williams opens with a great set and guess what...thats right averages matter again as Nicholson raves about the average.
The first leg of the second set sees Williams average drop 15 points from from 110 to 95 and Nicholson stops mentioning averages.
Nicholson starts yapping about some jobber that is now a fireman. Is there no end to his annoying bullshit.
The Dean Reynold rabble who you usually hear screaming like hooligans are quiet tonight as the Welsh cunt loses the first 2 sets averaging 67...yes 67.
Reynolds had 3 shots at a double in the entire match by the start of set 4.
Reynolds finishes with a 74 average....and comms who were wanking themselves over the first set average now claim averages don't matter again. Sure is some coincidence how they don't matter when the men average in the 70s...odd that.
Choke of the day had strong competition with Wayne Warren, Mark McGeeney and Dean Reynolds all doing grade A Tony O Shea impressions. A ricin attack would not have caused as much choking as we saw at Lakeshite.
Nicholson continues his ranting about "pob" and then goes on about the quad board.
Xenophobic racist crowd goes silent when the England cricketer who is not Caucasian is being interviewed.
Waites complains to the ref about the behavior of the crowd, the second player to do so that night, proving the type of scum in the crowd yet the so called "fanatics" who don't attend events tell us how great the crowd are.
Comms decide averages matter again after Veenstra hits a maximum.

DAY 6 
I am going to leave out mentioning kids as I always do, even though people want me to mention them so they can complain....in fact the only people taking advantage and manipulating the kids are the bdo.
Forcing kids who should be in school on a Thursday afternoon to hang around the drunk racist scum in the audience should be illegal. Why was this not played on a weekend not a school day ?
Daryl Fitton comes across as autistic when his ear piece stops working.
Comms try to hype the kids and cite this could be the new Jocky Wilson and Bristow feud..
I laughed when Mason said the kids had no idea who he was, why would they Mason, its not like you ever won anything of note in your entire career.
The useless Georgie Bingham calling Nathan Girvin "Girvine" showed her lack of care yet again.
The winning kid while acting obnoxious averaged better than the majority of men at Lakeshite.....and he is 13.
The first munters match was somethings else , the first leg was a 37 darter, followed by a 33 darter, then a 21 darter, followed by a pair of 27 darters. To say this was appalling would be an understatement.
The graphics with the stats was never shown out of sheer embarrassment.
The whole session was abysmal.......not a single average over 90.
Former Lakeshite winner Scott Mitchell averaged less than a munter and a 13 year old kid, and still won 4-0 in sets.
The highest average of the entire session was 87 by Bobby George's twin Maria O Brien.The lowest was Sharon Prins who averaged in the 50s, Suzuki averaged 61.71.
This shit is called a "World Pro". Fanatics, Mushrooms and other simpletons will try spin this or deflect but this competition is a fucking disaster.
We end the session with the bells palsy midget and his hynotherapy story. Unintentional comedy at its finest.
Seems the horrendous Paul Nicholson who is a precious little snowflake blocked John Lowe on twitter for having a go at his awful comms work.The retarded nicholson thinks blocking John Lowe will somehow make his valid comment not true. What a fucking cunt Nicholson is.
Spineless Adams claims "averages don't really matter".....this should last until the next 90 average when they will suddenly matter again.
Winstanley needed 36 and it took a dozen darts to get it.
Scoreboard stating Trina needed 40 when she needed 160
Trina Gulliver nearly hits treble 6 going for double 10...lol
Rawling says that Gulliver's first World title was in 2004
Winstanley throwing for the match leaves 337 after 12 darts and still wins the leg in 26 darts. Final averages of 72 and 74.
Delighted Lorraine won, first because it pisses off the Lincolnshire cunts, and secondly the Winstanleys have a sense of humour.
The first set of the following Men's game had the comms go on about the averages again, thats right, they matter yet again...
Nicholson  tells us the Halle open or whatever its called is a prodigious comp.
Mason "the expert" claims the fourth set means a difference of 3-1 up or 3-1 down.....what about 2-2 Einstein ?
Nicholson tries to compare the jobber Cameron to James Wade...oh dear
McKinistry almost hits treble 12 going for double 5 and Cameron breaks with a 21 darter.
Nicholson spouts the Steve Coote being a fireman bullshit yet again..
Cameron who was 2-0 in sets misses 3 match darts to win 4-2 in sets.
Cameron did not have a single maximum in 26 legs.
Game ends with both players averaging under 90, that is 69 averages under 90 so far in the comp.
Tony O Shea says Cameron "was awesome for 3 sets".....he averaged 83 in those sets.....seemingly 83 is awesome.
The best part of the Anastasia De Graff match was it only last 8 legs. Hope the winner of Anastasia or Lorraine Winstanley wins the title.
Tony O Shea says "there's a huge demand for women's exhibitions around the world"..what world ? the third world ? Fuck off ya stupid cunt.
He then calls Anastasia "a top-drawer exhibitionist".
Comms discussing whether Anastasia who once played pregnant constituted a pairs game.
Nicholson says De Graaf reminds him of Jelle Klaasen...has De Graaf sent nude pics to underage kids ?
Rawling claims Baker beat Marius Labanauskas
Bells Palsy is put off going for double 6 by what sounds like a horn, camera pans to crowd where a grown man is dressed as a baby !
Durrant making facial expressions that would give kids nightmares if they were unfortunate to view this shit.
Baker miscounts and goes for tops on a 111 checkout when he needed the bull and  allows Bells Palsy a match dart....luckily he holds and wins the set.
Had Baker not lost his scoring in the last set he would have beaten durrant who was choking.
Graphics show Maria O Briend instead of O Brien, and zero mention of the Youth final.
One player in the entire day averaged over 90....ONE

DAY 7

Comms start off the day telling us that Unterbuchner is a "top player who does nothing special". I dont think the comms realize how true that is for all the wrong reasons.
Mandigers is an even bigger jobber.He has a dart at double 12 and misses by almost a fucking foot when he hits 11 and almost the outer bull.
Mandigers later has a dart again at double 12 and hits the single 9 and on double 6 hits single 13.
Paul Nicholson tells us about Phil Taylor singing a Lady Gaga song to himself backstage, and goes on about all sorts of nonsense like trying to speak german and asking about fear of clowns, whilst scumbag Rawling thinks he is hilatious naming the man utd players on the masks of the crowd. Mandigers almost hits the treble 20 when on tops,
Unterbucher on 90 does not get a shot at the bull after fucking up. he then gets no shot at the bull on 84 when he fucks up again.
While going for treble 20 Unterbuchner hit a single 4 and comms refer to this shit as " a scratchy phase".
Unterbuchber misses double 16 and comms say"by fractions its just outside".....it was inches away and nearer to double 7.
Both players averaged in the 80s, so only a matter of time til some deluded cunt claims it was a classic.
Only the bdo could do an interview when a translator is needed and the translator's microphone was not working....priceless.

Next up was Yoko Ono against Bobby George, and when this shit was over the highlights consisted of the sole single 180 in the match hit by Suzuki in the first throw of the first leg. All downhill after that.
Not only was it another average in the 70s racked up, but an average in the 60s as well...remember folks this is a  "world pro"
I did enjoy the silence by the racist scum as another Johnny Foreigner won, and even better another "friend" of the Lincolnshire clique was bowled out.
Yet again the discussion starts about what trades the players work in,and how they could build a house.
Mr Potato Head Scott Waites is called Huddersfield Finest,
I read on a forum that Whitehead has Lakeside 2018 on his shirt instead of 2019.
Comms decide averages now matter yet again and go on how Waites averaged 109 in the first set.
By the time the 3rd set is going all mentions of averages are gone and they seemingly don't apply and how averages are not on trophies or cheques.
After the second set the interval music sounds, confuses Waites but there was no interval scheduled.
Scott Waites averages 110 in a set and guess what...averages matter yet again.
Whitehead starts a leg with a ton and then a maximum, and Rawling says the 9 darter is on.
Comms tell us at the end Waites "cruises into the semi"..to be fair we got a game that is very very rare in the bdo. A game where BOTH players averaged over 89.

The evening session starts with the place barely half full.
Tickets for the final are still on sale...I blame all those foreigners doing well, how dare they upset the balance of the annual bdo travel club yearly piss up by winning their games....the bastards.
Anastasia against Lorraine first up. I wanted the winner of this to win the comp outright, and also piss of the Lincolshire mong posse.
When Ana is on a finish for a leg the camera pans to the crowd to some simpleton in fancy dress and the comms start discussing him and ignore the match.
Scumbag Rawling goes on about equal pay for the munters, who only play a maximum of 3 sets in the semi final when the men could play a total of 11 sets in the semi final. They could pay the munters more, all they have to do is reduce the pathetic prize fund of the men and make it even more pitiful. Maybe Des could do that to help out his wife since she already thinks she is the chairman, and uses the chairmans official facebook account.
The munters should not be paid more, in fact they should be paying me to watch that shit for so long.If the Women believe they are that good and that worthy or being on a par with men then go to q-school and play with the men...oh wait....they wont do that.
The match ends with 2 more averages in the 70s, and was the worst performance of the week by Anastasia and possibly the best by Lorraine.
Winstanley got to the Munters final with averages of 69.25, 73.04 and 75.18....and they want equal pay.
The final is a win win for me as if Winstanley who I want to win, does lose, it will mean the Johnny Foreigner will win and we all know that will piss of the racists, xenophobes, the linconshire mutants, the ukip supporters, the BNP and EDL mutants, the ex cons in the audience and on the payroll, the Brexit supporters, etc.


Up next were 2 players who could play Aliens on Star Trek without the need for make up.
Bottler O Shea was trying to depress people by telling us of a person who most people never even heard of had died.
McKinstry has 141 left, while Bells Palsy had 147 left. McKinstry had the darts and Nicholson says " I think Kyle might have the advantage"...Really ?
McKinstry with 5 left busts it by hitting 18.
Comms asking what "football team McKinstry supports" automatically presuming he supports a game that is not called football over here but referred to "soccer", since Football in small villages like the one where Kyle comes from it is usually GAA Football.
Disabled darts is mentioned. We already had a week of spastics fucking shit at the board.
When Phantom of the Opera has a great third set, the averages matter again....imagine my surprise.
Darts on Ferries get a mention, probably a nod to Keith Dellar who whored out Adrian Lewis on the ferry exhibition circuit and fucked his career.
Kyle goes to shit on his scoring and finishing and the parasite Durrant takes advantage as he always does of cunts who roll over.
The Ted Hankey nostalgia conversation starts up yet again.
Once Bells Palsy went 3-1 up that was it, The disfigured cunt mops up wins against players who resign themselves to defeat, and the reality is once the short arsed cunt with his robotic hand movement and ugly grimaces gets challenged by a player who wont roll over he will fold.....remember the shock on Bells Palsy face in the Grand Slam when he could not understand why Andrew Gilding would not roll over.
I think Waites has the beating of him should they meet.
Up next was the visibly disgusting and obese alcoholic Human whale Andy Fordham who sounded like a fucking mental patient who spent decades drinking himself to death and rotting his mind. I have no doubt some cunt will be offended by my comments, but every single bit of it is true.
In true Lakeshite form the fat hun cunt is referred to as a "legend". This is a term bandied about non stop to describe the long term members of the travel club who get together at Bob's for the yearly piss up.

Up next was darts biggest attention whore,the obese farmer who constantly gropes himself. the egomaniac who strolls as slow as possible on the stage except when its to try strangle pensioners like Deta Hedmans pet gimp then he runs at pace.The sack of shit that tags everyone he can in his tweets to get attention.
His opponent was the queer looking coal scavenger Jim Williams....you know things are bad when you want a taffy sheep shagger to win.
After just 3 legs which are a 13, 13 and 11 darter, the averages are been mentioned and are important again since they are over 100
Comms wanking themselves raw, mostly Mason, the same one who constantly repeats over and over that averages are not written on trophies now wont shut up.
What are the odds averages will long be ignored come set 6 when they will be under 100 ?

Comms mention the high averages won't be maintained because of "heat" at Lakeshite.
Is Ally Pally known for its sub zero temperatures and Arctic conditions which lead to higher averages ?.The Circus Tavern must have been an open air event. The Matchplay at Blackpool during summer must have been freezing as they had no shortage of ton plus averages either.
As the averages drop the excuses become more evident.
Rawling says he didn't get where he is today by not knowing his unicorns as the cameras focus on some idiot in fancy dress in the crowd.

Mitchell makes its 2-2 in sets and celebrates by trying to mock Williams who is celebrating more.
Rawling the scumbag mentioning again not for the first time this week that a "big man staring at you" is some how intimidating. That might work on pensioners who Mitchell has a history of threatening. What is it with bdo scum who think aggression and violence is the way, and everyone is scared shitless of these cunts.

As I mentioned, come set 6 the averages would be under 100, and sure enough that was the case. In an amazing coincidence, the comms were not mentioning the averages all of a sudden.
The 7th set starts with the averages at around 93 each....a good ten points lower than the first set. Seems the averages don't matter any longer again, its all about the pressure now. What was I thinking.
Comms are so bored they are asking people to send them in jokes to give them a laugh such is their interest in this game.
Mason says 164 is 60, 54 double 18...
Mitchell gets upset at a dickhead whistling. I was told the racist lakeshite crowd was suppose to be well behaved.
Every session of this heap of shit comp had a player upset with the scum in attendance.
Williams beats the farmer whose tried use gamesmanship to win games and the farmer is absolutely seething. How long before he blames the crowd for losing even though he was one leg away from losing before the whistles ?



GAMES PLAYED SO FAR - 50
TOTAL AVERAGES - 100
AVERAGES OVER 90 - 22
AVERAGES IN THE 80S AND UNDER - 78
AVERAGES IN THE 70S AND UNDER - 32
AVERAGES IN THE 60 AND UNDER - 10
AVERAGES IN THE 50S AND UNDER - 2

78% OF ALL AVERAGES IN THE ENTIRE COMPETITION WERE IN THE 80S OR LOWER.
THEY CALL THIS SHIT A WORLD PRO

This is why 700 tickets were given away free. Who in their right mind would attend this mid 80s horseshit other than a mentally disturbed Belgian pensioner, and some brainwashed defective cunts who all met on an internet forum since they have no friends outside the internet. the travel club for their yearly piss up and the mong posse of Lincoln.
Imagine paying money to go to this....if that is not a sign of mental illness I don't know what it.



Time for some tweets that stood out this week.

Paddy Power, Bet 365 and other betting companies have been lashing some beauties out.

First up this Brummie cunt who admitted in the past his learning difficulties, and who reads this blog every week,even imitated my Knob of the Week and then pretends he does not read the blog.

How about the cunt Rawling, who last week was telling people to "say it to their face", he follows it up with this "I got friends" bullshit.This follows last weeks "say it to their face" crap he typed.



Then this by Knob of the Week winner blocking John Lowe, Nicholson use to think he was a bad boy of darts. The little shit is a utter snowflake.

Check out this mental patient who thinks criticism is not allowed.
Playing shit in their most important event of the year should not matter....what a fucking imbecile
Another fucking spastic who cried over the PDC getting a mention and says the PDC fiddle averages and says Lakeshite IS professional.
Who is this Scott Williams ?

And of course A mention for the Dinosaur Tommy the Jew Thompson who had a hissyfit after the Youth final because the PDC's JDC was mentioned,. Tommy crying as always about the lack of respect for the EDO and all that he has supposedly done for youth darts.
Thing is Tommy no one knows or gives a flying fuck.
If a kid was playing darts why would he spend hours treying to find info when the JDC are more prominent. England is not the centre of the Universe, and if an English kid wanted to find out he would have no trouble in finfing all the info via the JDC or other Academies that are better atteneded and advertised.
Moaning about Eurosport not mentioning the EDO is your problem not theirs.
Maybe Eurosport know nothing about your youth comps, why would they, its edo shit, no one cares.

Be it EDO, BDO, WDF, or whatever, deep down no one gives a flying fuck no kid dreams of being Tony O Shea, Martin Adams or Gary Jobson and the rest of the piss ed travel club, they dream about the PDC.




There was so much stuff I left out, from the pics of the Wayne Warren interview and the "Fuck her right in the Pussy" sign to the Bo Selecta Walk on placard.
Left out a heap of howlers, as there really was so much stuff. I could be typing this until Sunday.

Lakeshite truly is the comedy gift that just keeps on giving.
The best comedy festival in the World, even if its unintentional.

I have no doubt the number people threatening to give me slaps will increase this week, a sure sign i am doing this right.


Friday, January 4, 2019


I forgot to mention last week that John Lowe was awarded an MBE.
That is 3 people in darts born with a penis that have got one, Lowe Bristow and Gulliver.As for the PDC World Champs, no surprise that horrible baldy lard arsed shit stain won.

First off lets start with Sky TV
Sky...the people who hired the bulldyke Trina Gulliver, not because she was good at the job but because she was a woman and a dyke which would tick political correctness boxes. The fact she was atrocious at the job seemed not to matter to these cretinous bastards
SKY...the people that decided Barney was a worthy entrant into the Premier Leagues, when even the lazy fat sweat diabetic prick knew himself it was undeserved.Yes it was a sky pick not a pdc pick which got him in.
Sky ...the people that kept squinty eye Dave Clark in a job for years when he clearly is fucking hopeless. A guy that should have been sacked long before he got Parkinsons and sky now keeping him on yet again to tick more pc boxes.
Sky...the people who hired Wayne Mardle, who said yesterday that Barney was "entertaining and competitive. What planet was he on for the last decade. I was not alone in thinking this and some of the shit he spouted throughout the competition was nauseating and was mentioned on some of the forums I post on and twitter.

BG@weller64 wrote on twitter


If I am honest , I got to the stage where I zoned out for most of the appalling commentry during the World championship, being able to zone out to voices is something you learn when you get married...lol


A mention for Bellyboy who shat his load in the final in a heap of crucial last leg set deciders. Okay he did not win, nor was he expected to win, but the choking cunt acted afterwards like he was some top player, and runs his mouth like he has a cv full of tournament wins under his belt. His only tv title ever is a non ranking heap of shit ..the shanghai Masters..thats it, you swear the cunt  was winning left , right and centre. Guys like him and Chizzy have no backbone, and it is no wonder they never won a single thing of note in their entire careers. Chizzy could not even win a bdo "major"...I use the term loosely.

Darryl Cole on twitter suggested I mention Kirk Bevins


Former Olympic Swimmer Sharron Davies also posted on twitter




She is spot on in my opinion. Darts is not a sport. Phil Taylor dominated the "sport" when he was in his 50s. Whitlock played in a world champs with his leg in a cast...its not a sport, Its a game, all be it a good game which pays well if you are good at it.
Citing other games that made the Olympics as an example of them not being sport is true, but it does not validate things.
Just because other useless shit like archery can get in only proves that archery does not belong, just like darts does not belong. And before someone say its the Olympic "games" meaning games has a place there, what next ? Ludo ? Monopoly ? There are out of shape people who are out of breath just going to the bar in darts, and they think its a sport.Tune in to Lakeshite this weekend and watch how people like Gary Jobson and Tony O Shea will spend the entire week plus sitting in the bar horsing down pints of shit beer and tell me they are sportsmen.....Get ta fuck.

I hope Barney gets battered every week in the Premier League, here is a guy who only qualified for most Grand slams because he was carried by MVG in the world Cups. But here is the kicker, he should not even have been in the World Cups either as a few years he only got in because that lard arse hypocrite cunt MVG would not team with Klaasen who was the then #2 dutch player.
MVG did not want to team with Klaasen who he deemed a sexual offender, yet rimmed the hole of Phil Taylor numerous times a man who has a sex offense on his record.


Nigel Pearson is another cunt that needs a mention, who said MVG would be among the greats, and named Bristow and Taylor...then added Gulliver, Spineless Adams, and Dobromyslova  amongst them. Is this guy mentally deficient ?
People forget when Trina Gulliver was winning her first so called "world championships" it was not in a field of 96 players...it was a field of FOUR players....fucking four.
Adams ..here is a cunt that spent a decade trying to reach Lakeshite and every year failed. He only qualified because of the split, spent over another decade being Barneys bitch, and had to wait for the head shaking useless cunt to fuck off before he won the bob Potter Cup. Pearson then followed up with more nonsensical bullshit when he asked MVG if he could reach the same number of world titles as Barney....MVG has 3, Barney has just the one you fucking imbecile, no normal rational person considers a Bob Potter Cup a World Title you fucking dinosaur.
All he was short was to go on about county darts.

Then there is John Rawling,who posted this on twitter

The guy is a total idiot. Why what would happen john if someone told the deformed midget and the fat fucking farmer they were crap ?
Would there be "slaps" dished out ?  Maybe they would do the Jamie Cave-in routine and challenge someone to a game, or perhaps boast about their supposed income. Also funny how the fat cunt Mitchell says he does not bother with trolling, he cannot stay of twitter and tagging everyone he can in his tweet, the attention whore.

And then there is the bearded cunt Adams, here is a guy who missed out on the yearly piss up at Bobs. A guy that spends the week like Gary Jobson and O Shea sitting drinking in the bar wearing their darts shirts even when they are knocked out.. In an effort to be at Bob's he has come forward to do some commentary work as an excuse to not miss the piss up has decided to do some commentary work at Lakeshite in order not to miss the travel club annual piss up.
Has anyone seen the set of Lakeshite where the signs for quest TV was added to the surround set with blue masking tape ?. Its like something out of a special needs arts and craft class.


Let us remember the opening day of Lakeshite last year....the highlight being Nick Kenny's girlfriend being interviewed prior to Nick's match with William Mandigers. The girlfriend said Nick was wearing his lucky watch, when asked when he wore it before she replied it was his first time wearing it...how the fuck could it be a lucky watch then ???
Nick Kenny lost the match 3-0 in sets.....priceless.

 The forums, twitter, and almost all betting sites has gone to town ripping the piss out of Lakeshite, the best one I saw so far was this by Paddy Power which has mushrooms seething.
Paddy Power ripping the piss out of the BDO

So who wins Knob of the Week ? For me it had to be Sky Tv, they compounded the fact they keep squinty Eye Clark, and the useless Wayne Mardle on board by hiring the useless trina Gulliver and the god awful Mark Webster, but the icing on the cake was giving Barney the wildcard.
I don't blame Barney for accepting it, he even knew himself it was not deserved, but at least we can take some solace it will be the cunts last one.
I apologize to all those who sent me nominations, pics, tweets and other stuff I could not get around to tonight . The amount of things I could have mentioned was endless. I reckon I could have typists cramp by next Friday with the surrey comedy festival starting  tomorrow.
No doubt people like Chris Mason who ripped the shit out of the BDO for the year, will develop amnesia again and suddenly praise the bdo this week now he got a gig there and think we all simply forgot his past comments.
Paul Nicholson, the wannabe Aussie who lost his tourcard but thinks he is good enough to give players better than he will ever be advice will also be at the Salmonella centre. This is the guy who said the Munters game is the highlight of Lakeshite.
Lakeshite promises to be epic, the laughs will come thick and fast.

I almost forgot, the mushrooms were out in force trying to belittle the PDC Euro Q-school and the entrants.
Among the entrants the mushrooms knocked was a double bdo youth World champion, 3 players that reached at least the quarter finals of Lakeshite, and a recent Lakeshite finalist in Jeff Smith. The mushrooms used to hype those players in the past, now because those very same players went to PDC q school the mushrooms simply did a u turn and now belittle them.
Geert de Vos who the shrooms rimmed because he won a single game in the Grand Slam years ago with a ton plus average, has racked up averages in the 70s in his first 2 days.
Jeff Smith went out on day one with an average in the 70s, Darius jobbing over the first 2 days.

Will not be long before the usual excuse is rolled out, how they were "in form" at lakeshite and are unable to compete in the PDC now because they are "out of Form".

You only have to look how the black hole of entertainment Wes Newton, and Andy Hamilton who were utter shit, lost their tourcards in the PDC and could not win a game went to the BDO and suddenly rose up the rankings in the BDO were "back in form" .
One of my favorites was how spineless Adams spent over a decade trying to qualify, another decade stinking out lakeshite before winning it after everyone else of note had left and the excuse was Adams had "matured"
Check out this BDO thread on Digital Spy and check out this mental illness
Mushroom Mental Illness


Roll on the excuses this week...and finally I for one will miss the great Eric Bristow who  used to rip the piss out of the BDO every Lakeshite, and he was the greatest BDO player ever, but thankfully there are plenty others to take over the role.

Friday, December 28, 2018



Will start off with the recent  matches in the World Championships.

SATURDAY

First match up was Alan Norris against Ryan Joyce. Norris was absolutely on fire in the first set, and faded set after set in a 7 set classic. What I was not aware of at the time was Norris was playing so well with the news his wife had terminal cancer. How the guy could play and concentrate was something else, and my symapthies and wishes go out to the guy and his families, what horrible news.

Chizzy was superb against the cunt Huybrechts who ran his mouth after his last win and promised he was back. I even mentioned it in last weeks Knob of the Week how we would see how true that was. Huybrects did not win a set in the hammering. Huybrechts comment of "I am back" is up there with Vermin Price's "I will reach the final" comment. Both now must feel like fucking morons now, and if not, they should.

Last up was yet another coal scavenging taffy, against that fucker Gurney.Lewis led 3-1 before the sheep shagging taffy shat his load and collapsed, and Ski slope face upped his game when he saw the choking.It looked like we were going to see the third welsh cunt sent packing in less than 24 hours, but Lewis stuck in and despite Gurney missing a match dart, Lewis finished off the Northern Ireland fucker. A result that pleased me no end. No sign of Gurney fist pumping as he left the stage with the tears in his eyes forming.Go kiss your necklace.
Barney, Krusty, Shitlock and Gurney all the players I wanted to go out early did exactly that.
Add in the old cloggers like Darren Webster, Steve Beaton and Ian White this has made it the greatest world champs so far.

The evening session started of with that scruffy cheating cunt Searle beating a dreadful Willie O Connor who simply never was in the game.
I missed the last two games, but watched the Anderson Wattimena game later and despite knowing the score I thought it was a class game and most likely would have had enjoyed it more had I not known the score, Ando was lucky Wattimena missed a match dart, and blew a 2 leg lead in the last set.The double 8 that Ando hit in the very bottom corner of the bed, when he was in trouble,in the 4th leg of the 7th set was absolutely huge for Ando. It was another Ally Pally Classic.
The downside about the Wattimena loss is he does not over take Barney as the second highest ranked dutch player. I wanted Barney out of the World Cup as well, as Barney was using that to get into grand slams.I believe there is still time.
I could not be arsed to watch MVG against the over rated Hopp, fuck that.



SUNDAY
First up was the #36 & #37 in the World Dobey against Vincent van der Voort and was a quality game  with little in it. Best I saw VvdV play in a while, and was played at a great pace. As well as VvdV played Dobey was the deserving winner, and should give Ando a great game. Dolan against King was a lot better than I expected and Dolan played some good stuff with a rake of ton plus finishes. It would not be a King game without the grimaces though.
But the game of the day was Wade against Keegan Brown, where Wade was atrocious on doubles early on despite scoring better and was trailing 2-0 in sets, and at 3-1 it looked bleak for Wade but his finishing picked up and made a superb comeback. He totally dominated the scoring, had the higher average and his double in the last few sets was the difference.The dart he had at tops to save the match and level it up in sets was a killer.
Keegan in one leg needed 80 to win the leg and hit a single twenty, then hit the treble twenty and would have bust the score but the dart fell out, he threw his third dart and hit the treble twenty again and bust his score. The crowd gave Wade a lot of grief, but he did not react and in the end silenced them. I did not mind the crowd getting on his back after the last match against Asada, and the crowd did similar to Vermin Price.As for Keegan Brown, he might look like the bastard child of Colin Lloyd, but he played like the spawn of Scott Mitchell with his slowing down tactics and taking forever to take his darts out of the board, and even the comms mentioned how Wade was annoyed but did not let it get to him. Wade finishing when it mattered is summed up in this tweet by Ochepedia


The evening session and last session of darts before the Christmas break started with Adrian Lewis versus Darius Labanauskas. Fatpot has more hair on his 3 chins than Darius has on his head  and what a pathetic performance again from the Lithuanian. Again he averaged 89, which was enough last round to beat the hypoglycemic postman, and lets face it Barney has lost to some jobbers over the years...like that droopy looking poppy wearing James richardson who beat Barney at Ally Pally. Darius's 89 was obliterated  by a decent performance by Fatpot. MVG was waiting next for Fatpot.

Second match was Nathan Aspinall against Kyle Anderson who will soon overtake John Henderson as the person with the biggest head in darts. Everytime the camera goes on Kyle he has his fingers rammed down his mouth, won't be long and his whole arm will going in.
I am not sure which players darts were causing it but the sisal on the board was coming apart, and not the first time in this comp the bed around the treble 20 looked like shit. Aspinall threw some solid darts and hit some great scores at the right times and won a very entertaining game 4-1. A result not to be sniffed at.
Last up was Rob Cross who battered Cristo Reyes 4-0. Reyes is the Spanish for King, and he played and grimaced like Merv King, and was almost 3-0 down in sets before he started playing. Cross looked unplayable at times.

THURSDAY

Darts returned yesterday after the Christmas break, and first up was Devon Peterson and Steve West....I missed it and had zero intention of ever wanting to catch up on it. Lets be honest the likes of Peterson, West, Alcinas, Dolan, Benito etc are only having a run due to the shit performances of Krusty and Price..who I am glad are gone, the inevitable TV collapse of Ian White etc.
Does make the draw lob sided when you have Wade, Lewis, MVG, Ando all in the same half. The averages for the Peterson game looked a decent enough standard.
After that I got to witness the well liked Dimitri who showed zero bottle. Dimitri seems to be a favorite among people on social media and forums, but I lost any liking I had for him when he played like a cunt who accepted defeat at 3-1 down. Its not like Luke Humphries was throwing world class darts either. I mentioned last week how players like Dimitri who are usually the underdog in matches come apart when they are favorites in matches, its like they are not used to it. As for Humphries I expected Cross to batter him....how wrong would I be.
Last up in the afternoon was Hendo and Michael Smith who between them had more chins than a Chinese phonebook. It was a entertaining game,In the 3rd set Smith led 2-0 in legs and Hendo came back and won the set to lead 2-0 which included a 161 checkout. Smith was the better player overall but Hendo had some good moments.When smith went 3-2 up in sets the writing was on the wall. I enjoy watching Smith as I do Hendo so was a decent afternoon watch.
The evening session started with Benito who has been in a total slump for what seems like over a year taking on Alcinas. It was a dreadful game.and I sort of expected it from Benito but Alcinas was a complete let down. Benito did hit some huge checkouts out of the blue, so hard to knock a player who won the game playing shit, the fault lay with Alcinas.

Dobey against Ando was a superb game and yet another Ally Pally Classic. Again Ando was taken to a final set tie breaker. Like his game against Wattimena Ando hit a double 6 at a crucial point, which was like the double 8 he got against Wattimena. Each time it saved the game and was the turning point. Dobey finished with over a ton average, had 15 maximums, 27  scores of 140 or more.
Well done Dobey, yet another quality young player on the PDC conveyor belt that keeps on churning them out.
I said I would have been shocked if Adrian Lewis won more than a single set against Hunchback MVG, and so it proved.
To see Keith Deller in the crowd celebrating was sickening, as he is the cunt who turned the former double World Champion into a glorified exbo player playing cruise ships instead of doing euro tours and other events in the past.
Lewis did look better than he did in a while but is still miles away from the player he was. MVG looked unbeatable for most of that match.


FRIDAY
Up first was Devon Peterson and Nathan Aspinall, and was a decent watch with Aspinall winning 4-3 in sets. Aspinal with a final average over 95 in a match that went 30 legs was decent stuff.. Oddly despite Nathan winning 4-3, he won less legs than Peterson as Devon won 16 of the 30 legs. Dolan against Benito was as boring as it promised to be, and had little interest in it. Jeffrey de Zwaan who went out in the early round with a 106 average must have felt sick looking at that section of the draw.

James Wade needed to just beat Ryan Joyce to climb above Shitlock in the rankings and earn a shot of MVG. He was atrocious in the first set, and then started to wake up but acted like a complacent cunt as if it was only a matter of time before he won. Missed multiple darts to win the match 4-2 in sets and lost the set and in the final set still had 3 darts in the tiebreaker to make it 2-2 in the final set and blew it. Had Wade got through that he would have been destroyed by MVG, as Joyce will be. Joyce was also utter shit, it was just a case of Wade being worse on doubles, and did not hit a single ten in the entire match from what I saw.

The evening session started off with Bellyboy dumping out the scruffy looking cheating bastard Searle. When Bellyboy is on form he is a joy to watch, sadly he can go off the boil just as quick, but made light work of Searle. .Chizzy made lightwork of Jamie Lewis who is another vastly over rated cunt. I never miss over rated cunts going out, especially when they are Welsh. but he did beat Gurney so will cut him some slack...lol


I expected Cross to make it 3 one sided matches tonight, with a comprehensive win over Luke Humphries. After Cross won the very tight second set I expected Humphries to roll over , but instead he got better and Cross buckled, and won only about 5 legs in the match after that. It was a dramatic end to an otherwise boring night of darts that lacked any drama due to them being one sided.

I still think no one is stopping MVG, he will destroy the useless Joyce, as he would have done to Wade.
Ando is already getting his excuses lined up, starting with this "bad back", you think he would come up with something more original than the same excuse Merv King and that elongated string of misery Vincent van der Voort have been using since day one.
That said I think Ando will beat Chizzy, as its only a matter of when he loses not if he loses.
Best we can hope for now if a Bellyboy against MVG final which looks like the bookies favorite.
I think this World Championships is a lot like the 2008 where John Part beat Kirk Shepherd in that there was so many upsets and top seeds going out, it also meant we lost a lot of top player match ups.

Speaking of John Part, I know he is getting fatter by the week, but I enjoyed him on comms. I am not sure if he really improved, or he just appears great when you consider we had to listen to Useless Mardle,  Mark Dozy Webster, Squinty eye Clark, the atrocious Gulliver, and the rest of the cunts like Pearson etc.
Part and Croft were the 2 best on comms or punditry, even Rod Harrinton was an improvement over the others.



As for Knob of the Week, a few people suggested James Wade. One person suggested he win it for his bullying of Asada and his interview afterwards, except that was last week and was already mentioned.
Another person who mentioned Wade said because he refused to properly shake Ryan Joyce's hand and left the stage quickly. and annoyed.
Maybe it is me, but I prefer when a player who loses is annoyed. I am sick of losers who hang around and smile and act like they dont give a fuck about losing. Show me a good loser and I will show you a person happy to lose. Any player should be pissed off at losing, and maybe this attitude of Wade is why he has over achieved and won 9 TV titles, while players like Dave Chisnall and Michael Smith who are better power scorers, hit higher averages etc and are classed as "better players" than Wade have won fuckall of note in their entire careers. Nothing...yet Wade has a haul of titles.Wade also had the comeback of the week as well coming from 3-1 down in sets to Keegan Brown.

Yet another person suggest Wade because he lost to a player than was recently on the Challenge tour. I cannot argue with that, a worthy reason, however using that reasoning, then surely the World #2 and reigning World champion Rob Cross losing to a player who was also recently on the challenge tour, is more deserving.The #2 losing is more of a shock than the #9 losing.So well done Rob on losing one title tonight and gaining another.
Knob of the Week winner : Rob Cross

As for news in the BDO this....I have none. After all who really would give a flying fuck about the BDO this week. Not just because it was Christmas, but when the true World Championships is on at Ally Pally , no one gives a fuck about the Selecta's little piss up week in a run down hotel in Surrey. I tried to find out something tonight but there was no news. The milkmen must be still on christmas holidays. All I do know is prior to Christmas eve ticket sales were still abysmal, and even read a few posts on social media how some people are not going out of spite due to the fact certain "friends of the bdo" are getting free tickets, but other loyal fans were expected to pay full price., so those people are now boycotting the event.


The Premier League announcement will no doubt be made before the next Knob of the Week, so I am hoping the line up consists of
MVG, Anderson, Cross, Wright  as the former top 4
Mensur who was the #5 prior to the worlds.
Wade, Price and Gurney who all won TV titles in the latter part of the year...2 in Wades case.
That makes a total of 8 players.
I would give Bellyboy and Chisnall the other 2 spots. Fuck Barney. If the undeserving dutch headshaking hypoglycemic sweaty ex postman cunt gets in it will be totally unfair on who ever is left out. Barney is currently now 28th...yes 28th in the Order of Merit
Its almost 12 years..yes 12 years since he last won a major ranking TV competition. He only qualifies for the Grand Slam via the World Cup and lets hope Wattimena snuffs that out for him as well. Sick of the cunt getting preferential treatment year in year out.

A couple of mentions.Seems like Paul Nicholson, the guy who has the audacity to lecture people and give darting advice to others has lost his tourcard.
Another one who has to haul his pathetic arse to q- school is the telescope Inspector Jamie Cave-in. Yes, the cyclops cunt that got his feeling hurt ages back when I stated facts on how many legs he lost while grinning like a cunt , then challenged me to a match thinking that beating me in a game would somehow negate he was a jobber.
The one eyed simple cunt then had the audacity to boast about his income and tried the retarded "I have more money than you routine" on a forum, which only showed others what a sad case he was.. Now look at him, mushrooms on the dole in the UK probably made more than him in 2018. Thats what happens when you act like a cunt. and it comes back at you, and I am there to remind you.
Then Jamie Cave-in is not the first player to try that shit of "I have more money than you" routine on a forum, Wayne Mardle did it years ago and got ripped to pieces and quickly logged out and never returned.




 And last but not least, A belated Merry Christmas, and an early Happy New Year to all my readers, even those who claim to never read this blog, even though the views increase week on week.
I will be back next Friday just in time for a preview of   Lakeshite...the event that makes the Edinburgh Comedy festival look small time.

Friday, December 21, 2018



Going to start the write up this week with a recap of the last week at Ally Pally first.

SATURDAY
Saturdays afternoon session saw one of the worst matches I have ever seen in a World Champs when Mickey Mansell lost to some Canadian jobber called Long.
Of course the mushrooms who were in hiding in some grow bag suddenly emerged and rightfully berated the game, but somehow it was the fault of the PDC.
The following 2 games saw Jeff Smith and Danny Noppert lose...yes 2 players who both reached Lakeshite finals in the last few years were unable to reach the LAST 64 of the PDC world champs and when I asked how this could be, the mushrooms amazingly logged out of their forums and twitter accounts and went silent.  I guess they had no excuses and did not want to admit that Lakeshite standard is pub quality.
When Wayne Mardle is no longer the worst commentator on sky you know things are bad, but Bulldyke Gulliver is without doubt the worst commentator ever. Even Tony Green who was a moron, suck up and retarded cunt would provide some unintentional comedy, but there is not funny about how atrocious Gulliver is.
Saturday night saw one of the worst performances ever at Ally Pally with the Kiwi player Craig Ross, but will give him some slack as he really never qualified and was only there due to the player who did qualify pulling out.
Sadly that scruffy looking cheating bastard Ryan Searle won, and had his bucktoothed opponent been any way decent on doubles it would have been closer.
Match of the night was Colin Lloyds illegitimate bastard, Keegan Brown against the Ming the merciless lookalike. Brown bounced the Czech, and out went another former Lakeshite player who struggled to make the last 64 of the true World championships.
At this point I was watching the darts on the Hungarian TV channel Sport 2 (elo) via twitch and whoever the former communist was on comms with his fucked up language was a huge improvement on Bulldkye and Mardle.
Last up Saturday was the asshole prick Hunchback van Gerwen who was looking to make it every game that night to finish 3-0 in sets. Hunchback right at the walk on had to change his shirt as some fan threw a drink on him, so to pass the time they showed MVG hitting 17 perfect darts against Wade in 2013. Not many people remember this but Hunchback for all his perfect darts that included a 9 darter, still lost that set to Wade. Turns out the lard arsed dutch prick even started crying over some beer been thrown at him. So not only is he an arrogant cunt but a whiny cunt as well

Checkout the incident here :
Beer Incident

Funny how the assholes known as "security" there to supposedly protect the players were turning away quicker than hunchback when they saw the drink coming. As for the match, fair play to Tabern who threw some good darts, and made sure every game that night did not end 3-0.
Mardle then tried to tell us that "Michael is very sensitive", wrong, he is a fucking whiny prick if he is going to cry over some beer. Obviously the lard arse cunt lived a very soft sheltered life, never went to rock concerts or was involved in any messing.

The mushrooms re emerged yet again to have a dig at the PDC saying it would never happen at Bobs Salmonella centre. Why does bob serve his slops on plastic glasses then ?
Besides, bdo fans are so mean, common and mostly alcoholics they would not waste beer at Lakeshite. It is afterall the yearly piss up...even for the players.

SUNDAY

Sunday started off with the good news of seeing Croft replace squinty eye Clarke, and had Rod Harrington in the studio. Trina was still atrocious, showing yet again she has no place on a comms team anywhere in the world.Sadly my joy was short lived as Gulliver and Pearson were on comms for the first game so off I went to twitch to watch again on the Hungarian Sport 2 channel, that way you could hear the crowd and atmosphere without having to listen to the comms.
The prelim rounds were all one sided victories as expected with Chizzy and Payne the highlight and it more than lived up to expectations, in an Ally Pally classic, the best game in the Worlds since Cross and Jeffrey de Zwaan earlier in the comp.
The Sunday night started off badly as gone was Croft and squinty eye was back acting like a down syndrome kid after 2 litres of coca cola, dribbling and manic. Luke Humphries threw some great darts for a prelim match.
Also not a single player playing in the second round averaged less than 90, which shows how much quality there is.
The main talking point of the night was the match between Alcinas and Krusty the Clown.
Krusty gives it the big " I am" in his pre match interview where the 50 year old acts like a retard
He comes out dressed like a fucking spastic craving the attention and then gets dumped out of the World champs....if he spent as much time on his darts than his dancing, clothes, and hairstyles he might have had a chance.
Shame his Premier League spot was not on the line as well. The bitter prick said afterwards in an interview that Alcinas was lucky.. and spoke how he would stick with one set of darts and everyone was going to be in trouble....yeah right.
His defeat certainly made the majority of members on a forum I was on, very happy.
In the past players were fined by the DRA for breaching rules, for things such as not wearing black shoes or trousers. Seems the rules don't apply to Krusty as he can wear whatever he likes. At the start of 2018 he said he cleared out his cabinets to make room for first place trophies in Majors.
That cabinet must be as empty as Dave Chisnalls.
Interview

MONDAY
Went to the pub and only caught glimpses of it , and watched it early Tuesday morning, and was delighted to see the lazy postman and liar go out. And he lost to a guy who averaged under 90, and I bet the headshaking cunt will still get an undeserved PL spot.
At what point will people finally realize he simply has no place in it. Players like Wade were thrown out in the past for a little slump in form, Barney has not been in form for over a decade. Glad he is gone and the faster he retires the better.
Barney was defending a semi final spot as well which was 80k, so further down the rankings he will slump.
Anastasia went out as expected, which I had hoped would mean the end of the absolutely atrocious Trina Gulliver...but no, she was still hanging around like the bad smell at Lakeshite.

TUESDAY
On paper prior to the days play it looked the best line up so far in close matches and players I enjoy watching.I was hoping for a Thornton win but Larsson fully deserved the win, as Thornton was outclassed for most of the game, but showed some fight at times. He looks fucked and his days near the top bare over.
Evans blew a heap of chances against ladyboy Rowby but an enjoyable game.
Ratajski and Asada was an Ally Pally Classic, and a great watch. Ratajski missed crucial doubles, but Asada played some great darts at 2-0 down in sets and was another player who would be one of many to come from 2 sets down to win a match.
Last up was the little and large show and it was abysmal stuff from Webster. In fact it was turgid shit from both Websters, the dwarf on the oche and the shaking plumber on comms.
I give it 2 days before the elongated dutch string of misery moans about something else.

So by Tuesday moring, not even a week after the World championships had started the mushrooms were making excuses after excuses for the failings of so called former top bdo players.
Ratajski the recent Winmau Masters champion failed to reach the last 64
Former recent Lakeshite finalists Noppert and Jeff Smith also failed to reach the last 64.
2 former munter lakeshite champions failed to reach the last 64. In 5 days 5 so called top bdo stars turfed out.

The evening session started off with Steve Lennon against a complete useless jobber who played and looked like Barrie Bates. Lennon was awful and still won with ease.It is almost like players like Lennon who are never used to being favorites in a match but the underdog, have this pressure of being expected to win against the foreign jobbers and causes them to play worse than usual.

Meulenkamp against Portela was another Ally Pally classic in what was the best day of darts so far viewing wise, if it did not have the shocks like the other days had.Meulenkamp reminds me a lot of James Wade with his mannerisms besides both being left handed with glasses. Dimitri beat the Yank without ever having to get out of second gear in a poor game, before Gurney blew away Ross Smith with ease in the final game, chucking in a ton plus average.

WEDNESDAY
The day started with the good news that Trina Gulliver was done, according to a tweet she sent out thanking people for their guidance. Good riddance to the worst commentator ever. The afternoon session did not look that great on paper, even if there was 2 second round matches on offer.
Aspinal beat Nentjes with ease as expected. Jeffrey de Graaf was very poor in his match with the Filipino player  Malicdem.
The Filipino the deserving winner, and had it not been pissing down would have taken the dogs for a walk than watch it, that said it was not Mickey Mansell bad, but hardly up to the standard of Tuesday's afternoon matches. Dolan beat an awful Joe Cullen who only won a single leg in the entire match. Cullen proving how for every great game he plays there is one where he is utter shit.
Last up was Larsson against Kim Huybrechts. and the Belgian threw some great darts and walloped Larsson. Afterwards he gave his usual I am back speech.....lets see how that works out.

The evening session started with Willie O Connor against James Wilson. At 2-0 down in legs and looking to lose the set, O connor hit a 147 checkout, which had the spastic mardle screaming "A 147 can change everything"...aye...the people in the twins towers would agree with you, and while Mardle was still going on about the 147, Wilson took out a 160 for the set.
Mardle was then acting like it was only a matter of time til Wilson won the match, but the 111 average Wilson had in the first set was never going to be maintained by him and O Connor was the more consistent player, and deserved the win, and should have won 3-1 instead of 3-2, but a great result.The Comms went on and on about the 111 average in the first set, but O Connor averaged 116 in the last set.

Up next was Simon Shitlock who got the snot pasted out of him by Ryan Joyce, Shitlock lost 3-0,and those who hilariously thought he had a chance of a PL spot now realize its not happening. Shitlock became the 6th seed to be knocked out of the comp at that point.
Peter Wright
Barney
Joe Cullen
Darren Webster
James Wilson
Simon Whitlock

Bellyboy against Meulenkamp was a good quality match if a little one sided in the end. Although he lost I expect more from Ron in the future. Last up was Asada taking on James Wade, and this game will be remembered for all the wrong reasons. Everyone knows I am a Wade fan, but tonight he acted like a cunt.
I was one of the first to criticize Gurney, Price and others for acting like cunts and would be hypocritical of me not to condemn Wade now for being just as bad. His shouting in the face of Asada was bad enough but at the end of the match Asada who acted like a gentleman bowed in respect to Wade and Wade just slapped him on the arm and made little or no eye contact. Then in his interview made no apology and dug himself further with his "doing it for my country" bullshit.
Wade was superb on doubles, his experience got him through, but even I was hoping Asada would win. He conducted himself brilliantly and would like to see him give Q-school a go. Of course some sensitive assholes even thought Wade would get thrown out of the comp for screaming. Was price or MVG ever kicked out ? Of course not. The PDC allow it, even if it is an ignorant thing to do.

THURSDAY
Wattimena thankfully beat Barnard quite easily in the first match of the afternoon session. Barnard is woeful to watch and glad he is out, he is like the new Justin Pipe. Steve Lennon against Norris was yet another Ally Pally Classic that went to a tie breaker in the final set. Despite Norris being the better scorer, Lennon stayed in it with his doubling and missed 2 match darts. Lennon even won the Bull in the final leg of the tie breaker, but Norris's scoring won him the match and that maximum in the final leg summed it up.
Bunting against Humphries was a good watch at times but laughed like a cunt at Bunting getting knocked out. I still laugh at how a load of retarded cunts on a darts forum all thought Bunting was a top player because he had won the Bob Potter Cup. One mentally, emotionally and physically stunted cunt claimed there was only 2 players in the World better than Bunting. Then the same moron thought Phil Taylor was the only difference between the codes....he left forums in a sulk.Even more disturbing was that there was others who actually agreed with the dwarf, like a rotten toothed scottish prick, he too has left forums after getting his feelings hurt.
I said then Bunting would not be a top player ever,and when he gets beating after beating he would be lucky to be in the top 16 let alone the top 3 and I have been proven right.
 If Bells Palsy cunt Durrant ever grew a set of testicles or a backbone and goes to the PDC he will flop like Bunting, Wilson etc.The same darts forum today wont even allow laughing at Buntings defeat, then what do you expect when the moderator on there is a puny creepy looking bastard who sells sofa's for a living like a pikey. and the owner a welsh dwarf who shat himself in the past when Wayne Williams threatened him. The mods on there are the only people posting and spamming the place to make it appear busy, when it is the quietest darts forum.
Seven months the World championship thread is going on there and has only 1500 posts of which over 3 quarters are by 2 moderators. Other forums have almost treble the post count., even a new darts forum I post on has had more posts..


Last up on Thursday afternoon was Chris Dobey who battered Steve Beaton and it was another good result. I enjoy seeing young talented players dumping out the old clogging cunts, and Beaton has hung around like a bad smell for way too long. If you want to watch guys over 40 years old dominate, go watch the bdo shit with Bottler O Shea, Gary Jobson. Spineless Adams, The self groping farmer, Darryl Fatton, Bells Palsy, Warty Montgomery and Scabies Arm....fuck that.
This is why Krusty, Shitlock, Barney, Beaton, Darren Webster going out is better for the game. Give me the likes of Dimitri, Luke Humphries, Chris Dobey over the old cloggers any day.

The evening session started with Reyes against the Ladyboy. Reyes started well and then his game went to shit.Reyes went one set down, and with the throw in set 2 lost 3 legs on his throw after winning 2 legs against the throw and lost that set as well.That was the story of the game, more breaks of throws than hold of throws, and Reyes won a game he really should have lost.
Next up was Mervyn King against Dekker, and not a grimace of pain from Mervyn on his way to a 2-0 lead in sets. Dekker wins a set and suddenly the face contortions and the start of a limp start for King who was the better player. In the 4th set King missed 5 match darts and lost the set, and then in the tie breaker needs 74 for the match and busts his score.But eventually sees the game out. I won't miss Dekker.
Fatpot disposed of Ted Evetts easily enough and Fatpot looked good but still miles away from the player he once was. The upset of the night was that scruffy crusty looking cheating bastard Searle beating Mincer.The loss wont really hurt Mincer's ranking but rather he won than that cheating vile scruffy looking cunt Searle.

FRIDAY

Could not be arsed to watch the game between Benito and the Canadian player Jim Long. Benito is out of form and Long was so shit last time out, and read Benito won a long match in the tie breaker with a 150 checkout, and Long had missed a match dart earlier.
Hendo and Clemens was a good watch and Hendo played well, and now faces Bellyboy next round which should be another great watch.West against North was another five setter but lacked any real drama, mostly due to the fact neither player illicit any interest from me.
The Filipino against Kyle anderson was a lot closer than I expected for the first few sets, but in the end the huge headed Anderson ran out the easy winner. A boring enough afternoon session.

I missed the first match of the evening session and only saw the result. Ian White is without doubt the biggest TV jobber in the PDC. For a player to get so high in the rankings without ever reaching a tv semi final...might even be a quarter final, shows everything I ever said about the difference between stage players, and floor players fit only for leisure centres. So out goes White and another seed, he wont be missed either. Klaasen and Brown had the potential to be a good game with 2 fast throwers, but it turned out to be an atrocious match. It was so fucking shit I was looking forward to the welsh dwarf with the napoleon complex on afterwards. If Brown does not up his game, James Wade will have a field day against the Brown.
Third up tonight was Vermin Price against Nathan Aspinal, and in the pre match recording Price ran his trap as usual and even said he would reach the final. At 2-0 up I resigned myself to the fact Price was going to win, so when Aspinal came back and won 3 sets on the trot I laughed like a cunt. The crowd turned on the welsh prick as well and he was almost in tears leaving the stage. How's that final spot looking now Manlet ??.

So far this World Champs has been superb, Krusty, Shitlock, Price, Barney, Bunting all the players I dont like exiting early.Barney , Shitlock and possibly Mensur should be worried as with so many seeds going out it makes it more likely an outsider will go on a good run and possibly put themselves in contention for a PL spot at the expense of those gone out already. Dimitri is one of those who could yet make a mark, already hit a nine darter on TV and going strong in this comp, retained the Youth World championships.
All the Welsh cunts who rim the hole of Price, Clayton, Webster etc will be crying in the hovels tonight.

Roll on Tomorrow. for the Greatest show on Earth.

Now that the last 64 is completed, there was SIX ton plus averages in the last 64.
I bet the BDO wont equal that in their entire shit competition at Bobs Surrey Shack


A mention for Tim Birkett on BDO Fanatics who posted on fanatics about  people were unjustly complaining about Trina Gulliver being cruelly attacked for trying to earn a living.. He certainly caught me , as it appears he was on the wind up, and I believed it since it was/is something I have come to expect from the mushrooms on there., plys was only sent the screencap.. I wonder how many others thought he was serious.
In fact for all the criticism Gulliver received there has been no shortage of people willing to defend her. You only need look at forums and twitter.
Trina won't be missed
No one gave a fuck she was a dyke or a munter, they complained because she was shit at the job. No one complained about the girl Laura Woods...who was better than squinty eye Clark.Even some darts forums that are pro bdo had threads complaining how awful she was. She was the worst commentator I have ever seen or heard on darts....and I have heard Wayne Mardle, Stuart Pyke, Paul Nicholson and Mark Webster...let that sink in.




Another cunt worth a mention is that welsh prick Huw Ware. Why would anyone hire a person to do a job that involves you using your voice and hire a welsh cunt with a speech impediment. Another case of a cunt being hired to tick political correctness boxes.
Listening to that annoying prick I wanted to strangle him with his rainbow laces.The comms, the callers, the panelists were atrocious, when you are watching German and Hungarian streams to avoid Sky you realize how bad things are.
Where has David Croft gone again ?  He is one of the best Darts presenters. The best presenter since Jeff Steling years ago,



Meanwhile in the BDO The chubby waiter who claimed all the issues with the delays announcing Lakeshite and other announcements were not his fault but the business of Sportotal. Now that some more deals have seemingly been signed, the Waiter is now trying to claim the credit when he told us that Sportotal was responsible for these. What a prick he is, blames others when fuck all happens but tries to take the credit if he thinks its good news.
You wont see him telling fanatics how bad tickets for Lakeshite are shifting.
I wonder if he will take the credit for the appalling sales for tickets for Lakeshite. They cannot even give away free tickets...lol. I read reports that sessions are only one third full and free tickets are being turned down by the "fanatics".
I bet you wont see the Selectas take the blame for that.

So on to knob of the Week, the main contenders were

Krusty....dressed like a spastic and played like one.
Barney who lost to a guy averaging under 90, and was turfed out, but no one was really surprised, he has been shit for over a decade.
The whiny pretentious cunt MVG who actually started crying because he got hit with beer. What a fucking cunt.
Wade for acting like a maggot against the Jap
And of course the horrendous Trina Gulliver

But the winner , snatching the win for his loss late on Friday night was the mouthy little Taffy dwarf who ran his mouth, claimed he would reach the final prior to his match in an interview, and pranced about the stage like a peacock thinking his 91 average at the time was something special.
Then to see Nathan Aspinall come from 2-0 down in sets to win 3-2 while the crowd got on Vermin Price's back.
I bet Ando and a few other players laughed their bollox of at that. A lot of people across twitter and forums enjoyed it. I know I did.