Friday, May 5, 2017

This weeks main article was written by a member of The Darts Forum who wrote this beautiful piece.

Runner up this week has got to be the BDO who have managed to sell less tickets for the world (catas)trophy than the Joseph Mengle appreciation society shifted for their annual Auschwitz baby shower.
Is this down to the old men of the travel club that stink of stale piss and throw darts like they are suffering the latter stages of glaucoma?.....then again it may be the venue, a fucking doss pit that makes Potters gaff look like a five star hotel and the only reason the doors are open is the local authority are using the place as a leper colony as no self respecting dog would be seen dead curling one out in the place.
On to this weeks winner and once (yet) again the one and only Ross "the boss" Montgomery smashes the ball out of the park with his performance at the Denmark masters.
Firstly this knee high ringlicker leaped on the stage for his match with Yoeri "feather" Duijster playing the air guitar and looking like a bespectacled condensed version of the Yorkshire ripper with his recently acquired new facial hair.
He then went on to batter his awestruck opponent quicker than Fred West showing a new lodger to her room, and within minutes the wartless one was 4-0 up in a race to five.
Unfortunately the jock wankbag that measures the same length as your average skidmark came undone at this point as his opponent went from not being able to hit water if he fell out of a fucking boat to throwing the sort of darts flung by your average pissed up pub league player.
This was more than enough as the bowels of the warty one dropped out quicker than the septum on Daniella Westbrook after a night ploughing snow with Pablo Escobar and the primordial dwarf cunt lost five on the bounce as he choked faster than Mamma Cass gnawing down on a ham sandwich.
 For any of ye that fancy a bit of comedy, you can watch the choking cunt HERE  from the 2 hour 32 minute mark lose the plot and shit himself.

A mention this for the WDF and its partners ... the  previous Belgian event that was cancelled and the simpletons who bought tickets that were entitled to 3 free drinks at the next event, will have to go thirsty a bit longer as more events are being cancelled.
wonderful news.

Was also wonderful to see that fat hunchbacked dutch kerb crawling sack of human shit get his huge arse handed to him by Taylor in the Premier League, right after Ando beat him last sunday in the players championships.That will soften his cough a little.

In a break of tradition a shout out to The human Calculator and his wife Lorraine who took the recent award in good spirits., and even got the "on the buses" pic put on T-shirts.
Makes a change to see a couple not act like utter scum unlike the fat gay waiter and the livestock he married, or the depressed piss color dentured bitch and her expenses fiddling cuckold cunt of a husband.
Its off putting to give an award to a couple and not be told I "will be sorted out" by some internet hardman, or  told "the net is closing" ( which it has been for 6 fucking years) or "your time is coming" then if  Dean Winstanley was given my address he would still go for the wrong number house if his track record with numbers is anything to go by.
A mention for that 4 eyed shakin stevens impersonator and plumber from north Wales who looked stephen hawkins on pcp chucking darts tonight. He should fuck off and join the other coal scavenging has beens like Pot Noodle boy and Barrie Gimpy Bates back in the slagheaps.

And of course, a special mention for the fat scouse supporting cunt Stephen Bunting, the gut that ran amok in the BDO and a full time jobber in the PDC
An unemployed dwarf cunt from Rochdal once claimed there was only 2 players in the world better than Bunting, and other idiots actually believed him. ...I shit thee not...
Presently Bunting is not even in the top 100 for qualification for the 64 man Players Championships Finals....he lies 104th in the much for third best player in the world.
Cunt lost today again first round with an 84 average.
The only thing Bunting has an outside chance of winning this year is the poll on darts forum to vote for the fattest head in darts....he is currently in 3rd place.

To cast your vote go HERE