Friday, April 14, 2017
This week the winner was decided by members on the Darts Forum.com and this is a write up by one if its members which is a thing of beauty :
What a calamitous week we have had with every man, woman and invisible fuckin dog vying for the most prestigious title in world darts, the one and only Knob Of The Week.
Multiple previous winner, chairperson of the BDO and Robbie Coltraine drag act Sue Getty Williams put in a valiant attempt to hold on to her thorny crown by turning the oldest major in "world" darts the Winmau World Masters into a mid-week camera free zone in fucking Bridlington......yes, good old Brid, a place that godforsaken the fucking asylum seekers cannot climb back in their dinghies quick enough to escape the Gaza Strip of the North.
In another stroke of sheer genius auntie Sue the woman that visits a archaeologist rather than a dentist managed to get the World (catas)Trophy relegated from Potters emporium of excrement to a even bigger doss hole in south Wales by the name of the Memo arts centre.
Hopefully this event isn't televised as the Memo looks like Cruise Missile practice range and the only reason the fucking windows are boarded up is to stop the rough sleepers from escaping.
Unfortunately all these efforts from the woman whose charred teeth look like vandalised gravestones are in vain as outright winner this week is the biggest joke in PROFESSIONAL darts.
Step forward Peter "snakebite" Wright who steamrollered this week's other contenders by sinking quicker than Andy Fordham dancing in quicksand not once but TWICE last night.
This painted spastic with a penchant for firing his population paste into the super morbidly obese found himself 4-0 then 5-1 up against the prozzie rider before the seal on his colostomy bag blew off like the top of Kurt Cobains head & the silly looking cunt could only manage to gurgle his way to a draw against his master.
This Heimlich manoeuvre masterclass was then followed by Ronald Mcdonald turning a 2-1 lead against the jock Mr Magoo into a 7-2 hammering as once again the clowns dinner hit his underpants quicker than Donald Campbell's skull struck Coniston Water.
Rolls Royce choking and a worthy winner indeed.
It was as succinct as it was eloquent, almost brought a tear to my eye...calm down jabba, ....dont get your hopes up as I got 2..
The frightening thing is this was the first week Krusty has won the award, when you consider how often he chokes you have to wonder how bad were those who pipped him for the award.
I liked how Ando said after his first match against Chizzy thursay night how he was looking forward to playing Wright, think he wanted to batter him which he did for pretending to be a scot.
Here is the English cunt in all his glory
Other people needing a mention beside Popcorn teeth for moving the Masters to a slag heap in the land that time forget are Phil Taylor who blew not only the chance to beat Wade by a large margin he ended up losing the match, and Wade was shit for the majority of the match. Cunt should fuck off before he becomes any more of a laughing stock and object of ridicule and pity, we already have the bdo for that.
And of course Dave Chisnall, it is like Krusty, you just know the choke is coming, and sure enough he missed 7 darts to win the match. It was like Krusty at 5-1 you still could not see the Tony O Shea impersonator winning.