Apologies for the late news this week as I was in the pub,and that is my excuse.
What is Sue the Gash excuse for the silence coming out of the BDO ?
This week the winmau Masters which is laughingly referred to as the "2nd biggest bdo major" is reported,,,and by reported I mean a bed and breakfast broke the news that the masters will now be held in Bridlington in midweek in September.
It took a player who once played on Bob Potters piss soaked stage of shit to break the news on forums that a bed and breakfast confirmed themasters news , and still nothing from the BDO.
I guess they are busy what with updating their site with all the news on the World Darts CatasTropy...oh wait...
As for Bridlington, this quote by a resident of the dump sums the place up
A random patchwork of violent council estates and traveller sites by the murky waters of the North Sea, makes this town one of the worst places to live in England, even before the extra bonus of the entire Giro cashing population of Hull, Sheffield & Doncaster (three of the nastiest towns in the north) decamping here for the summer months.
Beirut with Seaside Rock & Tat shops, Bridlington offers those of a Chav persuasion two additional favourite hang outs aside from the usual joys of wrecking children’s playgrounds or necking Mad Dog 20/20 Kiwi & Lime outside Sports Direct – the “fair” and the arcade.
Both of these are Chav institutions, with the fair consisting of a sea of Chavs, screaming incessantly as they are packed onto badly constructed rides by mean looking pikeys, all to the backdrop of 300 strobe lights and 3 year old handbag house at ear bleeding volume. Chavs could then hit the arcade, where the kids are abandoned to play in the traffic outside the door whilst Mum & Dad (or partner anyway) blow the incapacity benefit on the fruities & jumbo dogs.
If you ever have to visit this god-forsaken corner of Yorkshire, make sure it is out of season, when the smog of Mayfair Superkings clears slightly, you can walk around without having to avoid pools of part digested chips and you don’t have to look at huge crowds of fat, bare midriffed biffers taking their alsatians for a shit on the beach.
The world would be a better place without midgets, and their napoleon complex's and insecurities.
One forum has mushroom midgets moaning so much it has practically killed their site and drove away its members. and speaking of stunted midget cunts a mention for the inbred yorkshite midget Doggy Dawson. This simpleton had to go on a facebook group to find out details about events seeing as Popcorn teeth was bushing fingering herself watching a Ken Dodd VHS to post anything on the bdo webshite.
The funniest part is Dopey Dawson has not even qualified for the event, which led to one person claim he already got a wildcard, for an event no one knows when it is on or even if it is on.
And if true he has won a wildcard, where was the announcement or why were others not made aware.
Another vertically and mentally challenged cunt that deserves a mention is that shitstain Warty Montgomery who in his typical bitter jealousy and dwarf anger has been taking shots at Paul hogan and Cameron Menzies. A truly poisonous little cunt with small man syndrome who even with his "17 pieces of lucky jewellery" has never been anything but a grade A fucking jobber cunt.
Moaning about Paul Hogan playing and winning a comp in Benidorm...with a 70 average as well as having a dig at Cameron Menzies for not going to Germany.
What the fuck has it got to do with that dwarf cunt is another story, and there is no shortage...excuse the pun...of people who think Warty is a total cunt.
I particularly liked this nomination
My pick for this week is the BDO'S answer to Tattoo from Fantasy Island & professional rulebook page turner Ross "The Boss" Montgomery.
This fence painting miniscule maggot and cack rash on the underpants of "toy" darts had a little sob this week as Paul Hogan took a few days off from appearing in police identification parades for "he touched me merchants" to lay waste to the competition in Benidorm.
McLoyalty went on a rant because Hogan and Daniella Westbrooks apprentice Cameron Menzies decided to give this comp a punt rather than head out to Germany with the rest of the travel club spastics on the piss riddled seats of the sunshine bus.
Hopefully some kraut nonce mistakes the petite porridge slurping parasite for a little kid this weekend and pulls a Ben Needham on the doss little warty wankbag.
The vindictive little cunt won't be missed.