KNOB OF THE WEEK
I am sadly at the stage where I spend most of the darts I watch with the audio off, if its not munters hired solely to tick boxes for woke benefits as the munter offer nothing, they are unable to speak on things they have no experience of, hat would Thunder thigh Turner know about playing in a world final for half a million ? Before some genetic defect cries I hate women, the majority of the men are equally as bad. Rawling is utter dogshit, the ex con constantly tells us averages do not matter, thy do not write them on trophies, which is true, but they don't inscribe Chris Mason on trophies either, but as soon as there is a igh average he won't shut the fuck up about it. Then there is Stuart Pyke who fuckin sickens me . Can his tongue get any further up the fat hole of bunting or Bellyboy. He is too ignorant and stupid to realize most fans have more knowledge of the players, the game, the history than this prick. How often have we heard him claim some foreigner is playing "the best he ever played" just because he was unaware of the player, or tell us that some our card holder is a player, "most people never heard of". This clown only shows his ignorance every time his open his vile trap. Even Mark Webster who was always poor now seems like a consummate professional commentator in comparison. The majority of the idiotic statements made by comms are what i gleam of forums and twitter.
THE LATEST NON RANKING GLORIFIED EXBO. -DUTCH MASTERS
The last 8 saw a Dutchman in each game, and game 1 saw Barney took on Bunting, a decent enough watch with 15 maximums in the game. Bye bye Barney.
The ignorant and scruffy prick Dan Dawson told us the battle of the 2 fat cunts in Littler and Hunchback was the biggest game in darts, there was I thinking the biggest game was the world champion and the world #1 between both players named Luke. What irritated me was the way the prick Dawson said it as if this was some sort of fact, and people cannot have an opinion of their own. Sure enough the game that was hyped then proved to be a shit watch and standard as the obese English cunt beat the obese Dutch cunt with ease. I was surprised to see that MvG's average of 90 was that high. It seemed worse.Price and Doets was also a poor standard thanks to the missed doubling and Price missed multiple match darts, and went to a final leg and Price took out 145 for the win and send the 3rd Dutch player out....dropping like flies. Job Cross disposed of Wattimena and the home crowd now had no Dutch player to cheer on in the semis.
Littler started well against Bunting, but Bunting got back to 3-3 at the interval and even though Littler broke, Bunting broke back and took the win. I was delighted to see both Hunchback and Littler go out but it did not make this meaningless comp any better. Price seemed to ,lose the plot early against Cross and never really recovered, which set up a Bunting Cross final. Cross led 5-2 and Bunting came back to level which led comm to restart kissing the fat hole of Bunting.Cross then hit the turbo, won 3 legs on the trot, and stopped the Bunting ass kissing. Of course comms were acting Cross just won a ranking major, not some meaningless non ranking glorified exbo.If you were bored watching this, picture 16 weeks of the same players week in week out playing in another glorified non ranking exbo.
WINMAU WORLD MASTERS
Sadly we were subjected to the biggest cunt in darts commentary history Stuart Pyke, his crawling and sucking up to Bellyboy during his game with Noppert was nauseating. Remember how he and others said the "floodgates would open " ? That was now years ago, and Bellyboy went out first round, just like he went out in his first game in the Worlds. As it stands he is not in the Matchplay, drops outside the Worlds top 16 and his new excuse is he has arthritis, not like he ever did a hard weeks manual labor in his life. Speaking of the Matchplay, Cullen who lost to Humphries and Cullen also not in the Matchplay spot currently. Then we had the ex con Mason rimming the fat hole of Bunting, and when Borland with teeth like an abandoned graveyard went 2 sets up the comms sounded almost depressed. Borland who looks like a heroin user, and calls himself big Willie even though he looks around 5 foot 7, choked, and comms were back to rimming Bunting who beat a qualifier jobber. Magpie put in a decent performance to get a win over Rob Cross, Kevin Doets choked against Peter Wright, not that comms mentioned it and just pretended that Wright was excellent as if the viewer was going to simply forget what they just witnessed with Doets in the last leg.
Friday night Teeth McDnald welcomed us to the wonderful city of Milton Keynes, what with is rich ancient history and cultural significance ? First up Wade beat De Decker, and Chizzy who gets confused by simply trying to breathe, seemed perplexed when he played Pinocchio's latest mess of a boyfriend, at least this latest one is not a obese 4 eyed fuckwit. Chizzy and Menzies both were shit but had an average far in excess of their IQ. This was another event where Chizzy got a shirt made solely for the event and only wore it on the oche for 15 minutes. After ITV showed us their latest adverts for cancer, diseases, begging Africans and tortured donkeys we got a 2 legged pit pony against Germany's tallest midget and I was at the point of regretting not going the pub. To be fair Clayton started brilliantly taking the first set with a 113 average. He was averaging 122 when he went 2 sets up. Schindler took a set but Clayton was superb and won 3-1 with a 112.77 average, Schindler had a 105.05. Stutters was up next against Selwyn Froggatt, and I went for cup of tea
Next up was the scruffy window cleaner taking on Newcastle's version of Wes Newton in terms of charisma. Searle threw for a 3-1 win but Dobey broke and threw to level and missed a set dart and Searle took the win.
Then we got the kebab guzzler against Belgian jobber Baetens. The former WDF #1 going out first round, still he got 5k, you usually need to win WDF comps to get that much. Like Bunting and Littler, the two fat fucks who got handy draws against a qualifier, we got another fat fuck against a qualifier in MvG against the posterchild for malnutrition Bradley Brooks and comms acted like MvGs 95 average was something special.
Last up was Ando against Babs, who is another currently outside the matchplay spots. Ando took the set with a 111 average.Babs took control and won the second set with a 107 average and the third set with a 107 average, and wrapped it up 3-1 and a 102 final average.
Tomorrow sees the format go to best of 7 sets., and its most likely with it being a bank holiday I will be supping most nights.
The afternoon session will consist of all the winners from Thursday, but I am sure some simpleton will cry about Humphries and Price being on in the afternoon
OTHER SHIT
I heard the Dutch open was on but I could not give a flying fuck, nor did I give a fuck about modus either, although I saw a post on twitter with some lad saying modus were trying to get it back on youtube, which wont please Pluto TV, but it was obvious taking this off youtube and having it on some obscure shit channel not available in most countries was always going to be a backwards move.
