This caused unrest in the tribe of the BDO where the tribe elders who still worshiped the old days and were fearful of change, denounced this plan. The natives grew restless as they wanted the chance to go to this wondrous distant land where they risked no slaps, and could live a life of luxury free from the tyranny of the bdo elders.Seeds of dissension grew like the black clouds that engulfed that place of misery and despair.
The Leader of the bdo tribe, who had no choice decreed that those that leave to play in a foreign land would be welcomed home if their voyage ended in sorrow.
19 brave but disillusioned warriors and followers of Bob decided on the second Sunday of the year of our Lord 2019 after a banquet of piss poor ale, chips and curry at Bob's encampment in Surrey to make the pilgrimage to the Robin Park Temple in the Kingdom of Wigan on a quest for the holy grail of a golden PDC tour card.
Upon their arrival all notions of an easy battle were quickly dispelled and other warriors from other tribes also hoping to enter the gates of the golden PDC fought the bdo tribe and each other with tenacity. The combatants were not the best, but fought valiantly and the battle raged for 4 days and 3 nights.
As the sun set on the fourth day, 2 of the BDO tribe proved themselves worthy and were openly welcomed in through the gates of the PDC fortress where riches, unimaginable in the barren wasteland of the bdo homeland would be on offer.
2 other BDO tribe warriors, disgusted and sickened at the notion of returning home decided on the final day to go around the back of the castle and got in through the back door. They were given a whole 2 seasons to prove their worth of else be cast out.
Alas outside yonder on the battlefield were the beaten and battered 15 bdo natives,unable and unworthy of a place in the PDC Kingdom who slowly trudged through the soil to make their way back to to their tribe in the barren bleak province of the bdo, beaten, disillusioned and disenchanted.
Upon their arrival back in the grim bleak and dark land of the BDO, the broken warriors returned to their previous lives and ordered by tribal elders to never mention their failures, or even the existence of the PDC Kingdom. The tribe elders still in denial and with years of hatred of all other peoples from other lands set deep in their black hearts, set about to create the belief that all those that left the tribe no longer existed and announced the warriors of the BDO tribe were the greatest warriors on the planet and all mentions of their previous failures never existed.
Those natives who would question the elders or inquire about those who left for foreign lands were accused of witchcraft and given copious amounts of slaps and had threats made against them and their family and they were out cast.
They were no longer allowed to travel in hunting parties. know as the travel club.
Many moons later the BDO tribe put on gala of their own and it lacked the fanfare of the PDC , but undeterred the bdo witch doctors decreed their gala was the best gala ever. Their warriors previously beaten and battered outside the gates of Hearns castle were hailed the best warriors ever, and the dregs of humanity who traveled to witness this gala were heralded as the the best citizens of any kingdom anywhere. The End.
Sadly folks that story is no fairy tale, 15 players who played at Lakeshite less than a fortnight ago were unable to beat jobbers from around the world in Q school.
4 out of 19 success rate
2019 LAKESHITE PLAYERS THAT ATTEMPTED TO WIN A TOURCARD
Scott Baker- CARD WON OUTRIGHT
Mark McGeeney- CARD WON OUTRIGHT
Glen Durrant - CARD WON - ONLY VIA A PLACE IN THE LEAGUE TABLE
Conan Whitehead - CARD WON - ONLY VIA A PLACE IN THE LEAGUE TABLE
Lisa Ashton - FAILED
Jim Williams - FAILED
Wes Newton - FAILED
David Cameron - FAILED
Daniel Day - FAILED
Andy Hamilton - FAILED
Scott Waites - FAILED
Kyle McKinstry - FAILED
Lorraine Winstanley - FAILED
Ana Dobromyslova - FAILED
Mark McGrath - FAILED
Fallon Sherrock - FAILED
Corrine Hammond - FAILED
Deta Hedman - FAILED
Dean Reynolds - FAILED
Among those failures was a guy who reached the final of lakeshite, and won 2 previous bob potter cups in the past. Not counting those who earned an automatic card, Scott Waites finished 98th in Q-school. 98th and he will be one of the favorites for the BDO Tin Pot Cup next year, such is the lack of depth in the BDO.
Even Bells Palsy the reigning Lakeshite champion, could not win an automatic tourcard, he was not good enough to be one of the 8 players that won an automatic card. Matt Clark a complete jobber won a card outright, but Durrant could not, not even after 4 days, he had to rely on points to get in, and even then he was not top of the table.
The were 2 people above him in the table, 8 who got cards so Durrant finished 11th out of the 19 who got cards.
I know some mushrooms will claim he getting a card is a success, to me it was the very least that should have been expected from a guy who mushrooms will tell you is a "World Champion".
That said I am glad Durrant got his tourcard, as I have said in the past, he seems a nice guy personally, and unlike the cunts of Spineless Adams, Scott the Farmer and the other dregs, he at least had the balls to give the PDC a go, and also his speech as he pocketed the bdo £100k was both magnificent and honest.
He finished Lakeshite with a speech that would have mushrooms seething, and did it again upon earning a tourcard when he stated afterwards about Q -school "This is as good as winning the Lakeshite Championship."
The 3 in row and reigning lakeshite champions compared the bdo "world pro" to a q-school event.
There is no way the mushroom scum can spin this.
The reality is sadly, Durrant does not have the bottle or mentality for the PDC. He lost in the first 3 days of Q-School to players who averaged under 89 against him.
If Durrant cannot beat guys chucking averages in the 80 when the pressure is on, how the fuck will he handle it when the proper players lay into him. I still remember the look of shock on his face when he was throwing an average well over a 100 against Andrew Gilding and Gilding did not roll over like they do in the BDO andGilding went on and beat Durrant. I will give him some credit for showing some bottle on the last day when the pressure was really on him to perform, and he did enough when it mattered, but lets be honest, he pulled out the stops against jobbers, wannabes and the odd half decent player, and if thought he was under pressure in Q-school wait til he starts playing on the full tour for a living. That type of pressure week in week out when he is playing for a living could see him completely buckle.
Look at how Stephen Bunting twice came close to retiring in the PDC such was the pressure he felt,and Bunting is vastly superior to Durrant. I of course would like to be proven wrong, and have Durrant prove me wrong as new faces in PDC tv comps is always a good thing and I am sure Durrant against the top players in the PDC will garner a lot of interest in the first few months before people tire of it, as durrant has a boring throw and style and boring player to watch, much like McGeeney. Scott Baker is the only player of the 4 refugees I like to watch as he has a fast paced throw, dont fuck about and gets on with things.
Final matches in Q-school made for some excitement as Kevin Painter got to the last 4 and one win away for an automatic card but lost out to Kirk Shepherd in a battle of former PDC world finalists. Sadly for painter the loss meant no tourcard as he missed out by leg difference.
Cameron Menzies lost out in 12th place,and will be cursing Joe Murnan, who had he won would have meant Menzies got a tourcard, Murnan was 4-1 down averaging in the low 70s and gone was Menzies hopes. Conan Whitehead and Barrie Bates got in ahead of Painter and Menzies on leg difference. If honest would have preferred Menzies and Painter to Bates and Whitehead. Bates is dull and another old fart clogger, Whitehead looks like another generic county player and a charm vacuum, where as Painter like him or hate him at least looks likes he gives a fuck and is not one of those queer cunts that spends every game hugging his opponent after the match, and Menzies is totally erratic but well worth a watch if only for his antics.
Kirk Shepherd gets a card...the jammiest cunt in the history of the PDC world champs possibly. I think at least 3 players had match darts to beat him when he reached the World final. To me he will always be the cunt acting the maggot on the oche with the sore foot and kicked the oche and grimaced like a bitch, laughed my bollocks of at that, one of the many things in darts that made laugh like a lunatic over the years. Though still not as funny as a pissed up Martin Atkins getting "hand relief" of nurse trina on the lakeshite stage and the Ted Hankey episode though which was the funniest thing I ever saw in darts.
Am not a fan of Andy Boulton generally but rather him than some of the other useless cunts that were looming in on a spot
Glad Jamie Hughes got a card, and was the best player without doubt the day he won it.
Worsley was consistent if not great judging by the averages and time will tell how he fares.
My only knowledge of Nathan Derry was the GSoD a couple of years back and was not impressed then.Hopefully he has vastly improved..
As for Adrian Gray, I remember in the UK open back in 2003 he beat John Part which was a big upset and got an even biggest upset a few years later knocking out Phil Taylor in an event in 2007, like Raymond van Barneveld, has done fuck all since 2007.
Fuck Matt Clark, always been shit.
Know little of Harry Ward but he put in some good performances and rather a younger player than some over 40s county cunt stinking up venues.
As for Reece Robinson, he never made any impact, in fact his antics and dra fines got him more attention than his darts.
I always liked Pallet when on form and a good watch, but as likely to chuck turds as well.
Bain and Murnan I am familiar with but nothing there to suggest they wont be back at Q-school in 2 years time.
Know nothing about Wilkinson and Carlin other than it was both of theirs first time at Q-school.
In 2017 English players made up 67 of the 128 tourcard holder
in 2018 the total number of English players with tourcards dropped to 64.
This year the total number of English players dropped to 61.
I personally prefer the tour to have more non English players and have a more global field, it is better for the game, and hopefully the day where potbellied county piss heads making up the numbers drops.
If you want to get fat, horse pints, and waddle like a fucking human water bed at a ukip rally then thats what the bdo is for.Haul your carcass to there.
Another stat is that in 2018 the average age of the q school qualifiers was 41.1 years, this year the average age was 34.9, a good six plus years younger, another example of the change in the game. As I mentioned earlier, the fat county alco dominating the game is slowly but surely dying out and the PDC are helping to progress the game.
I know I mock the munters game, and I know Lisa Ashton was only playing jobbers for the most part in Q-school, but she not only did better than Lakeshite semi finalist Jim Williams, but she got 3 times as many points in Q-school than Lakeshite finalist Scott Waites. That makes me laugh. Part of me even wanted her to get a card if only for the mocking and material that I could have got out of that..so fair play to her efforts and doing better than the bulk of the men.
Before some liberal pussy whipped beta bitch gives me this horseshit that the women are as good as the men, they are not, Ashton is an exception rather than the rule. She may have fucked up at Lakeshite but standard wise over the recent years she is a level above all the other "women".
I know when Lakeshite 2020, if its still held there, comes around, I will be listening to how the comms team explain how the reigning champion Durrant, winner of 3 in a row is suddenly missing. Will they do what they did at the time of the split and forget Taylor, Anderson, Bristow, Priestley ever existed, just like they did when Bunting fucked off, or will they openly acknowledge Durrant fucked off.
If they dont mention it, then that will be one of the first howlers of the next list, if they do mention it, Tommy the Jew Thompson will throw another hissyfit because of the PDC mentions...a win win.
The arse kissing of Bells Palsy Durrant has already started, one simpleton I read on a forum this nweek said Durrant would be top ten of the PDC. When I replied he could not even finish in the top ten on Q-school, let alone the main tour, he never replied.
Another simpleton upon reading how Durrant said winning a tour card was as good as winning the "Lakeside championship" went into denial, Durrant followed this up by stating he did not even want to be at the last Winmau Masters.
So you have a reigning Lakeshite champ,a three in a row, their top player, fucks off out the door with 100k, says a PDC tour card is as good as Lakeshite, and belittles the Winmau Masters in the process.
This is why I am glad Durrant is in the PDC, the mushrooms will no doubt be seething.
Now on to the DRA.
I totally understand the need for these type of orgs in a game that seeks to be taken as some sort of professional sport. I do not believe darts is a sport personally and will never be a sport, but can see the logic why the DRA should exist, and since it does the rules should be applied equally to all.
If rules are not applied equally then its the responsibility of the players orgs to make sure the DRA tow the line.
Gerwyn Price was fined £21.5k this week for his actions in events, mostly his conduct in the Grand Slam final against Gary Anderson. My initial thought on reading the headline was it was an excessive amount, but the reality is was not if you consider certain criteria.
When Price took to the stage at the Slam he was assured of £55k as a runner up, his actions which no doubt contributed to his success, coupled with the bottle job by Ando, meant his actions in the vast part helped him earn another extra £55k. Add in the fact this title win also cemented his place in the Premier League which is another pay day that GSoD final win was worth far far more than $55k extra he got, so his fine of £21.5k seem little in that scenario.
Here is my bone of contention with the DRA, I am no fan of Vermin Price but if he is to be fined for acting like a roided up prick on the oche, then why haven't the likes of the hunchback MVG, Kim Huybrechts etc been charged for doing the same. ?
The rules are not applied evenly.
Then you have Anderson, who I enjoy watching as a player, but he is a whiny snowflake cunt., who not only let the coal scavenging manlet get under his skin and lost the game, he kept encroaching on Price on the Oche and was guilty of gamesmanship, and even put his hands on Price.,
Surely physical contact is worse that shouting, but Anderson only gets a warning.
Why is that ? Are they afraid that Ando will get stroppy and throw a sulk again, we already seen in the past how he got a DRA fine a while back and stopped doing the Euro Tour in a sulk.
I have even read on twitter and on some forums where people have said Wade's actions where he screamed at Asada was somehow worse than Ando who used actual physical contact, or Price who stood to gain in a major financial way and Price's antics lasted for almost an entire match.
Wades speech about "playing for his country" was completely idiotic, but not sure what rule it would break, seeing as other players have said similar in the past.
Wade does deserve a warning or even a fine for screaming in the face of Asada, no one disputes that, but for people like Dan Dawson who claimed it was somehow worse that what Price and Ando did is laughable.
For years the DRA seem to be a law on to themselves, fining players for the most trivial things.
You have that squinty eyed parkinson's prick Dave Clark and the asshole Mardle going on about needle and wanting to see it, when it happens the 2 cunts act like snowflakes and go on how the game does not need this, then come out next game and try to invent some needle that does not exist.
Where is the PDPA in all of this looking out for their members ?
Its one thing for the DRA to be clamping down hard, but the rules should be the same for all players, for years those cunts have been selective in how certain players are charged and which ones get a free pass.
I had no issue to the amount of the fine Price got, but Ando allowed it to happen by buckling.
Had Price tried that shit on a prime Bristow, or even Phil Taylor, Price would have been battered.
Even though I dislike Price, he was right to do what he did.
He mentally beat Anderson who rolled over, made an extra 55k in the process, got a shitload of publicity, and a TV title, and earned a PL spot. From a business and career standpoint it was a fantastic result and in hindsight it was worth it even if the fine was higher.
Had he not acted the cunt, he would have been favorite to lose that match, probably missed his golden chance of a tv title and a PL spot.
I dont know if Wade has been charged or will even be charged, as the DRA only release the details at certain times, and have no problem hiding and burying things under the carpet when it suits them.
If the DRA publish the fines and warnings for some players, then do it for all.
Again another example of different rules for different players. But then why should they when they are allowed to do what the fuck they want, and as said where is the PDPA in all of this.
Is it any wonder the DRA can dish out fines and ride the gravy train on the most ridiculous charges while the useless PDPA do nothing.
And lastly a quick mention for the waiter with the plastic looking teeth and an insecurity complex.
Seem Selecta has been running his mouth taking credit for what he deemed a success again, of course if something went wrong he would distance himself as far as possible.
I laughed my bollocks off at how he claimed some of the Munters averages are as good as the Mens.
The hilarious part is he tried to word it so that it appeared the Munters game had improved.
Here is a statistical fact.
The mens game dropped even lower than the munters game this last Lakeshite which narrowed the gap between the jobbers and munters.
The overage averages for the entire munters lakeshite was LOWER than the previous year, even if the 2 lying cunts of Nicholson and Mason said the standard improved.
The mens game was also lower.
And now the waiter wants to increase the prize money for the Munters game, a game where not only the standard is dropping, but increase the prizefund for the game in which his own wife plays in.
Where is this money to come from ?
Even if they double , trebled or even made it on a par with the mens, it still wont change the fact the munters game is utter shit, no one gives a flying fuck about it except the dykes butch partners, the cuckolds, the pussywhipped shits and the other brainwashed people.
The minters will spout all sort of shit, how they are as good as the men, deserve equal rights, better prize money etc etc....you never see them wanting to hold their own tv comp for munters alone...because they know , but will not admit it publicly no one would watch that shit,
That is why the munters never argued for their own separate comp.
So Knob of the Week goes to the BDO, its 15 failures at Q-school, its moronic fans, its chairman and its board.
