Not even Chris Mason who has sold his principles more often than a crack whore has sold her ass and spouted nonsensical bullshit all week and acted like he was an expert despite him never winning anything of note in his entire career, and rimmed the hole of the BDO, the same BDO he used to rip the piss out of, was winning the award.
Not even the scumbag John Rawling who loves acting the hard man on twitter with his veiled threats and his idiotic horseshit could hold a candle to the winner.
This weeks winner has to be Paul Nicholson, the man who has an arse that must be jealous of his mouth with all the shit that comes out of it, and the comp is not even over.
In a week of unintentional comedy provided by the BDO, its scumbag fans, its mostly ignorant and retarded players, the mushrooms on twitter, forums etc, it is some achievement to beat them into submission to win the award.
Too much was done and said since Saturday for me to include in the blog so here is my shortened list of mistakes, fuck ups, unintentional comedic moments, bold face lies, utter bullshit and other howlers we witnessed and heard since Saturday.
DAY 1
Half the room was empty and those there was mostly in fancy dress, yes the same type of fancy dress the mushrooms mocked the PDC for, nothing hypocritical there I guess.
There was no exclusion zone on the oche.
The spotting was atrocious which missed a Telnekes 145 checkout.
Chris Mason saying the black hole of entertainment is delighted to be at Lakeshite, as if it was some sort of pinnacle.
Mason went on later to tell us how the world renowned Des O Connor played at the venue.
Scabies arm McGeeney miscounting and throwing for double 16 when he was on double 15, later on had 2 darts in his hand to take out 61 for the match and hit treble 14.
Who is Nigel Widmayer ?
According to the graphics the Widmayer game was a first round match....it was a prelim match.
According to comms it was Heydons debut at the World champs....except it wasn't.
No highest checkout prize fund this year either according to comms, then they changed their minds
Paul Nicholson was comparing Lisa Ashton titles to those of Bristow, Taylor and Barney.
John Rawling the spastic calls Ashton and her 2 daughters a "Darting dynasty"
Conan Whitehead with skin more like blackheads wore a shirt that Nicholson called "sistene chapel-esque".
A pissed up prostate hole Adams giggling like the fucking retard he is at everything, with his big red face.He repeated the same shit over and over and over for the week.
After the first session not one single munter averaged more than the 70s
The highest average of the comp after the entire session was 88.60 by Heydon, an ex pdc jobber.
Wes Newton is only 32 according to the graphics on screen, and is also called "Wez" on graphics.
P..p..p..p...paul Ho..ho..hogan hits a score of 7 to start a leg
Bulmer almost misses the board with an attempt at double 10, the leg and set is won with a 32 darter by Prins.
The 32 darter is far from the worst leg of the comp to come.
A 63 average was enough to whitewash an opponent in this "world pro"
Comms said Prins winning with a 62 average was "impressive".
All Spineless Adams needed was a football jersey to go with his chav soveriegn rings to complete the chav package.
I kept looking for Nigel Farage in the audience as all his supporters were there.
The retarded Nicholson spent the entire time during an all aussie match speaking about Australia.
Justin Thompson hit an 92 average, the only average higher than 88.60, ....it only took 7 games in this "World Pro"
Z list "celeb" Will Mellor screaming into the microphone like a chav...its a microphone Will, you dont have to scream like a fucking common spastic. He calls Bottler O shea the Jimmy White of Darts...true, both shit themselves in finals.
Comms say O Shea is going home after his defeat...is he fuck...he got a week of drinking in the bar to go first.
In his interview afterwards only minutes later he is shown with a pint in his hand.
DAY 2...Surely this could not be as bad...right ?
In the first match Rawling admits that not many people have turned up, which is possibly the first true thing he said.
Rawling admitted Waites would rather go for bull than a double...obviously with a bull that is fucking huge.
Van Egbom had consecutive scoring visits of 10 and 23...yes 10 and 23 and still won the leg and the set with a 24 darter
In the end it did not matter as Scott Waites won the match 3-1 with a huge 86 average....that is lakeshite winning form, after all he won lakeshite twice already with averages like those.
The Pole Kciuk was the next Johnny foreigner to have his name misspelled on the graphics.
Then showed the wrong player in the graphics, and got his home town wrong. The only thing they got right was the guy whoever he was, was Polish.
On Eurosport's twitter they said he was Poland's finest dartist.....they must have blanked out Ratajski who won the Winmau Masters in the BDO.....fuck him I guess, he is only a Foreigner.
The match started atrociously with Mason claiming "trust me this will get better".....except it did not, it was utter shit and the pole won the game in this "World Pro" with an average in the 70s.
Mason in an effort to make excuses for the turgid dire shit claims " we all saw the effect it had on Wes Newton" when trying to blame the stage of piss soaked planks in Bobs run down hotel.
Up next was the black female version of Tony O Shea, a complete lakeshite bottle job.
Deta averaged in the mid 60s which surprised me, I thought it was lower if honest. They can spin the shit of how many titles she won around the world on the travel club piss up, but she will always be a choker.
The abysmal Nicholson then spouted "The greatest player never to win a world title is Deta Hedman". forget Alun Evans, James Wade or any of the other greats of the game, a well known bottler averaging in the 60s is Nicholsons idea of the greatest....let that sink in.
Nicholson who spent the previous days obsessing about Australia now fixates on County darts, Warwickshire, Bellyboys wedding, Bananas, Zinedine Zidane, Ice Skating and other minutie.
Veenstra against Heydon was last up and we were told it was a classic. It had all the hallmarks of a bdo "classic". 2 fucking jobbers, chucking shit darts, in front of a half empty room, where the fans could not give a fuck, that went on for what seemed forever and shit averages.
Nicholson is still spouting shit , about Margeret Thatcher, Rivers and more County Darts while the match is going on.
Nicholson mentions how Janssen sshirt must be breaking copyright infringement, but this is normal practice in the thieving BDO. Remember the Jacklins breaking the law ?
Comms saying they reckon mad spastic Belgian Jackie does not have a job......
Rawling says Adam Smith Neale is in a cast because of "a result of over-imbibing on a trip over in Italy recently." According to what I read on forums Smith Neale chatted up the wrong woman and her boyfield fucked Smith Neale down a flight of stairs.
Janssen needs double 8 with 2 darts left, and hits 11 and double 1 to leave 3.
Corrine Hammond has 68 left and miscounts and busts it and loses the leg.
Nicholson says Sherrock is wearing glasses, nothing gets past him.
Mason and Nicholson wanking themselves raw over Sherrock's 89 average acting like it was something special.
Adam Smith Neale comes out on crutches to play in a game some retarded cunts think is a " Sport". This is the day after a person receiving chemo therapy played....
Comms admitting Adam Smith Neale was pissed and got his leg broke acting the maggot......Des Selecta told us he fell off a kerb...yeah right Des.
Smith Neale arrived on stage with one good leg....left the stage without a good leg and lost with an average of 66...yes 66.
McGrath was able to whitewash an opponent with an 81 average in this "world pro". Smith Neale not only did not win a leg, he did not even get a shot of a double which would have seen his average drop even more.
Nicholson claiming 2 welsh players meeting at lakeside is very very rare. Welsh players met at least 10 times at lakeside.
Comms have 2 discussions about players occupations, how they could build houses etc, but call this a "world professional".
I would dearly love to know what is professional about this event that looks like an EDL fundraiser.
In the post match interview Wayne Warren says the word shit and the ugly blonde dumb interviewer who acts like a bitch nearly has a stroke and apologizes for anyone who was "offended".
Meanwhile in the background a guy holds a sign saying "fuck her in the pussy"
Its the BDO what do you expect the plebs to act like ?
DAY 3
A grim looking line up to start on a Monday afternoon
John Rawling announces on twitter Durrant is playing today, except he is not and the mutant contacts Rawling to tell him he is playing the next day.
Nicholson who will say anything to try promote bdo shit says Richie Burnett was the best player in the World around 1995.
Chris Mason who has sold himself more than a prostitute for a paycheck agreed.Then for the paycheck Mason would say anything, like forget his previous slating of the bdo as he once called this bdo shit "car crash tv" He thinks people have forgot this.
The so called "expert" Mason acts shocked how Andy Hamilton and Wes Newton performed so badly...maybe them dropping down the rankings in the PDC, losing their tourcards was a clue.
Rawling tries to start a conversation about Hammers and where to buy them with Chris Mason of all people. Rawling is curious as to whether you bring your own or buy them at the venue....Mason goes quiet.
BDO fanatics on social media mock Hamilton after his defeat, the same fanatics too retarded to grasp that the player they are mocking as "useless" was the same player with shit form still managed to qualify for Lakeshite. By mocking their own player the are mocking the qualifying standard of their own bdo, and when that sinks in a new excuse will be formulated.
Of the 3 games today not a single player averaged even close to the 90s
Willem Mandigers beat the atrocious stuttering prick P..P..P..Paul Ho..Ho..Hogan with ease. Mandigers managed to whitewash him with an 82 average.
David Cameron got a whitewash over Andy Hamilton and only needed an 86 average to do so.
Oliver Ference won his match 3-1 in sets with an 82 average
Listening to the comms trying to put this shit over was embarrassing.
Justin Thompson misses 2 darts for the set, despite him averaging only 74.
Thompson starts the third set with a score of FIVE....reminds me of Paddy Power mocking the BDO..Thud Thud Thud...Five
County darts get a mention again, in fact everything is discussed and mentioned since comms are so bored with the game. The half full hall are dead and have zero interest in 2 johnny foreigners.
Comms tell us a load of fat women slugging pints in police fancy dress are not real police in case we did not know. This is also more important than the match going on.
We were told "we have not seen a 9 darter in 2019"....the last one at Lakeshite was by Paul Lim and that was TWENTY NINE YEARS AGO.
Tony O Shea makes his way from the bar to the comms box and starts right away mouthing off about Cheshire county darts.
Laura Turner comes out and Bo Selecta rushes over to hug her friend, then walks away when when Anastasia comes out for walk on.
Anastasia has 90 left for the set, hits treble 4 and then 18 to leave 60 and hits the 60 and busts the score. Ana averaged 32 points more than her opponent in the set.
Ana has 36 left for the match hits 18 and then double 10 and busts, returns and misses 3 more match darts, before returning a third time to finally seal the win.
Laura Turner averages in the 50,,,yes fifties...world pro ....snigger.
Roger Janssen led 2-1 in sets against the queer looking Williams, and the half empty room were silent. They despise Johnny foreigner at Lakeshite.
Williams with 76 left, hit 20 and then treble 20 and busts
Comms wetting themselves over Williams averaging over 100 in the first set, by the 4th set there was ten points knocked of his average. By the time the 5th set kicked off, Janssen was averaging in the mid 80s.
Daniel Day reminds me of Bellyboy Michael Smith without the beard and talent.
The retarded Nicholson telling us Leighton Rees won the first World title at Jollees, which is completely wrong.
Then claims this is the best Reynolds has ever played at Lakeshite, Reynolds was averaging 84 at the time.
The prices of beer in Sweden is the next topic of discussion
Day misses a heap of doubles and Reynolds holds throw with a 29 darter....world pro...
13, 180, 27 and 44 are the first 4 visits to the board for Daniel Day,.
Reynolds 75 average good enough to go 2 sets up.
Comms say "It's not one of those games when you go on about averages" and ...of course not, not when the stats are fucking atrocious.
Reynolds wins with a 76 average....world pro folks.
DAY 4
The place looks almost empty when the ego maniac, and annoying begging prick and attention whore Parletti takes to the piss soaked floorboards of bob's oche.
This is another game where we are told its not about averages, funny how they say that when averages are utter shit, but if they get a freak result and there is an average over 90 they cannot shut up about it.
When Polish player went 2-1 up in sets the xenophobic racists in the tiny crowd went silent.The racist EDL, UKIP, BNP type scum in attendance went silent when the Pole won. I love seeing foreigners win and upset the plebian scum.
The pole with 2 wins has assured himself of 4.500 quid....that is how pathetic the money is.
Up after that match was Scott Mitchell who seemingly is only 38 according to the graphics
Nicholson tells us 88-93 is Scott Mitchells level.
While the game is going on the topics of discussion are the body hair on the Serbian, and types of dog breeds.
When Johnny Foreigner wins his first leg there is barely a ripple among the racist crowd.
Spineless Adams appears on stage like a child giggling at absolute nothing as usual and then proceeds to tell us Kcuik against the obese farmer will be "one of the best encounters all week". I shit thee not.
The obese farmer who is constantly groping himself spouts "We're just real people with real people around us"...work that one out.
The Vizcaya Open that Des Selecta bailed out because his wife played in it to garner ranking points is mentioned.
Bo Selecta comes out with a placard that says "Im Superproud of DES xxx BDO.forever"
The BDO twitter account congratulates Scott "Williams" on his win over Oliver Ferenc.
Mason and Nicholson in a desperate effort to make excuses for Munters darts being shit blame social clubs from 50 years ago, and then go on about men being hunter gatherers centuries ago.
Averages again don't matter, but mention Ashton having a 107 average in one set at Ally Pally....averages mattered again.
Bo Selecta throws at tops for a leg and is nearer to the treble, throws for double 10 and hits double 15 and bust. She had a dart at double 16 later that barely stayed in the board it was so far away. She loses with a 65 average....that's at least the 4th average in the 60s, along with the one in the 50s....absolutely atrocious stuff.
Comms once again speak about the " BDO Family".
We are told Warty was averaging 36 a dart coming in to Lakeshite...a 118 average....snigger....
Warty lost with an average in the 70s.
It would not be Lakeshite without a Bo Selecta and Warty first round defeat.Drawing them is almost a bye.
By the time Warty Montgomery lost there was 6 averages over 90....but 48 averages in the 80s, 70s, 60s and even one in the 50s.
Not a single game with both players averaging in the 90s.in the entire comp at this point.
Warty is interviewed after his match and the woman stands well back from him, wise decision as he previously sexually assaulted an interviewer before.
Evening session starts off Nicholson mentioning Michael Smith as one of the best players in the world.He said the same about MVG and others earlier in the week ,He is admitting the best players in the world are in the PDC and certainly not at Lakeside. This causes mushrooms on twitter to go into meltdown.
Bells Palsy sufferer Durrant hits back to back maximums and loses the leg.
Glen Durrant had a 93.90 average and he wins 3-0
He averaged 104.98 (over 11 points higher) in the PDC Grand Slam and lost......spot the difference in the codes.
The deformed midget then said Scott Baker was marvelous today......baker averaged 83.16...
Scumbag Rawling who likes to threaten people on twitter calls Casey Gallagher Casey Kelly.
In an atrocious match Winstanley hits a score of 6.
Rawling says a 15 darter might win it for Winstanley, a 21 darter won it for her in an abysmal match.
We are told that "Laura Turner was great last night and she did women's darts no harm" she averaged in the 50s and was utter shit.
During the second set of the Gary Jobson match where he is averaging 74, the camera zooms in on the small crowd and shows a guy asleep...lol
Rawling thinks the first leg of the 4th set is for the match.
Chris Mason trying to excuse the pathetic performance of Jobson says its a long day and Jobson must have over practiced...at what ? Drinking ?
Gary Jobson averaged 55.24 in the last set. If that does not show how shit he is and how he gave up, then nothing will.
DAY 5
Day starts with Spineless and Nicholson struggling to find something positive to say about the line up.
Harms going for the wrong double after a miscount which costs him the leg.
You know how much of a cunt a player is when your own country's fans are not shouting for you. All the Dutch fans were firmly in the Mandigers camp against Wesley Harms. The copper topped cunt always seem to have a moan or complaint to go with an excuse and he wont be missed, another jobber who only qualifies because he is a full time travel club member, like Gary Jobson, Warty, and Bo Selecta all who were shown up for the jobbers they are with their annual first round defeats.
The graphics have MBE after Gullivers name....oh dear.
The next nonsense to be spouted by Nicholson is that Trina used to leave 79 after 12 “all the time”. Amazing how every one averages well in excess of a 100 but then goes on stage and averages under 75...oh I forgot, the "pressure of the stage"
Chris Mason tells us the munter match is "thoroughly enjoyable"...a shit match where both were averaging in the 60s.
Bored off his tits Nicholson and Mason discuss golf majors and poker. Nicholson asks Mason a golf question and then afterwards thinks the question he asked is wrong., so goes back to the darts match they were ignoring.
David Camerons flight schedule, womens throwing style and weather patterns all get discussed while the munters are chucking shit.
The biggest shock of the afternoon so far was that both munters managed to break the 70 average barrier, just barely..
In the interview afterwards Bull Dyke says Lorraine Winstanley her next opponent played really well in her last game....fuck off , Winstanley averaged in the 60s ffs and did not play well.
Spineless Adams then repeats how well Winstanley is playing, guess averages in the 60s must be the standard these days.
Paul Nicholson gets so bad discussing kids tv characters, and trying to tell jokes about German cars, even scumbag Rawling is embarrassed.
Like last year Wayne Warren was great in his first game, and when pushed in a game did a Tony O Shea impression, he did the same this year, played great against a player in the first round that rolled over, but shits his load when Unterbuchner stood up to him.The German whitewashes him 4-0 in sets and an average of 91 was all that was needed.
In his last interview Bells Palsy Durrant claimed he has been the BDO #1 for 4 years as he is the best, but he was not the bdo #1 as that is why he is seeded #2.
The top seed Mark McGeeney gets an interview and claims "the best player in the world at the moment is a bloke called Jim WIlliams"...go figure.
The evening session starts with comms telling us that Conan came through a thriller with Martin Phillips last round. The retarded cunts will have you believe every utter shit game was a thriller. Conan beat Phillips with an 83 average in the game that supposedly a "thriller".
Mason then tries to tell scumbag Rawling about wrestling, Rawling has no interest and again embarrassed by this co commentator just like earlier.
The BDO #1 seed Scabies Arm goes 2 sets down averaging 82.
In the third set bdo #1 seed has a scoring visit of FIVE...and a scoring visit of 26 in the same leg.
McGeeney starts swearing on stage as he gets upset by the mong posse of Conan Whitehead.
The BDO #1 seed gets whitewashed with his mid 80 average....comms citing the averages dont matter.
In the interview Whitehead spouts this horseshit "The man's world #1, he's a legend"
Next game Williams opens with a great set and guess what...thats right averages matter again as Nicholson raves about the average.
The first leg of the second set sees Williams average drop 15 points from from 110 to 95 and Nicholson stops mentioning averages.
Nicholson starts yapping about some jobber that is now a fireman. Is there no end to his annoying bullshit.
The Dean Reynold rabble who you usually hear screaming like hooligans are quiet tonight as the Welsh cunt loses the first 2 sets averaging 67...yes 67.
Reynolds had 3 shots at a double in the entire match by the start of set 4.
Reynolds finishes with a 74 average....and comms who were wanking themselves over the first set average now claim averages don't matter again. Sure is some coincidence how they don't matter when the men average in the 70s...odd that.
Choke of the day had strong competition with Wayne Warren, Mark McGeeney and Dean Reynolds all doing grade A Tony O Shea impressions. A ricin attack would not have caused as much choking as we saw at Lakeshite.
Nicholson continues his ranting about "pob" and then goes on about the quad board.
Xenophobic racist crowd goes silent when the England cricketer who is not Caucasian is being interviewed.
Waites complains to the ref about the behavior of the crowd, the second player to do so that night, proving the type of scum in the crowd yet the so called "fanatics" who don't attend events tell us how great the crowd are.
Comms decide averages matter again after Veenstra hits a maximum.
DAY 6
I am going to leave out mentioning kids as I always do, even though people want me to mention them so they can complain....in fact the only people taking advantage and manipulating the kids are the bdo.
Forcing kids who should be in school on a Thursday afternoon to hang around the drunk racist scum in the audience should be illegal. Why was this not played on a weekend not a school day ?
Daryl Fitton comes across as autistic when his ear piece stops working.
Comms try to hype the kids and cite this could be the new Jocky Wilson and Bristow feud..
I laughed when Mason said the kids had no idea who he was, why would they Mason, its not like you ever won anything of note in your entire career.
The useless Georgie Bingham calling Nathan Girvin "Girvine" showed her lack of care yet again.
The winning kid while acting obnoxious averaged better than the majority of men at Lakeshite.....and he is 13.
The first munters match was somethings else , the first leg was a 37 darter, followed by a 33 darter, then a 21 darter, followed by a pair of 27 darters. To say this was appalling would be an understatement.
The graphics with the stats was never shown out of sheer embarrassment.
The whole session was abysmal.......not a single average over 90.
Former Lakeshite winner Scott Mitchell averaged less than a munter and a 13 year old kid, and still won 4-0 in sets.
The highest average of the entire session was 87 by Bobby George's twin Maria O Brien.The lowest was Sharon Prins who averaged in the 50s, Suzuki averaged 61.71.
This shit is called a "World Pro". Fanatics, Mushrooms and other simpletons will try spin this or deflect but this competition is a fucking disaster.
We end the session with the bells palsy midget and his hynotherapy story. Unintentional comedy at its finest.
Seems the horrendous Paul Nicholson who is a precious little snowflake blocked John Lowe on twitter for having a go at his awful comms work.The retarded nicholson thinks blocking John Lowe will somehow make his valid comment not true. What a fucking cunt Nicholson is.
Spineless Adams claims "averages don't really matter".....this should last until the next 90 average when they will suddenly matter again.
Winstanley needed 36 and it took a dozen darts to get it.
Scoreboard stating Trina needed 40 when she needed 160
Trina Gulliver nearly hits treble 6 going for double 10...lol
Rawling says that Gulliver's first World title was in 2004
Winstanley throwing for the match leaves 337 after 12 darts and still wins the leg in 26 darts. Final averages of 72 and 74.
Delighted Lorraine won, first because it pisses off the Lincolnshire cunts, and secondly the Winstanleys have a sense of humour.
The first set of the following Men's game had the comms go on about the averages again, thats right, they matter yet again...
Nicholson tells us the Halle open or whatever its called is a prodigious comp.
Mason "the expert" claims the fourth set means a difference of 3-1 up or 3-1 down.....what about 2-2 Einstein ?
Nicholson tries to compare the jobber Cameron to James Wade...oh dear
McKinistry almost hits treble 12 going for double 5 and Cameron breaks with a 21 darter.
Nicholson spouts the Steve Coote being a fireman bullshit yet again..
Cameron who was 2-0 in sets misses 3 match darts to win 4-2 in sets.
Cameron did not have a single maximum in 26 legs.
Game ends with both players averaging under 90, that is 69 averages under 90 so far in the comp.
Tony O Shea says Cameron "was awesome for 3 sets".....he averaged 83 in those sets.....seemingly 83 is awesome.
The best part of the Anastasia De Graff match was it only last 8 legs. Hope the winner of Anastasia or Lorraine Winstanley wins the title.
Tony O Shea says "there's a huge demand for women's exhibitions around the world"..what world ? the third world ? Fuck off ya stupid cunt.
He then calls Anastasia "a top-drawer exhibitionist".
Comms discussing whether Anastasia who once played pregnant constituted a pairs game.
Nicholson says De Graaf reminds him of Jelle Klaasen...has De Graaf sent nude pics to underage kids ?
Rawling claims Baker beat Marius Labanauskas
Bells Palsy is put off going for double 6 by what sounds like a horn, camera pans to crowd where a grown man is dressed as a baby !
Durrant making facial expressions that would give kids nightmares if they were unfortunate to view this shit.
Baker miscounts and goes for tops on a 111 checkout when he needed the bull and allows Bells Palsy a match dart....luckily he holds and wins the set.
Had Baker not lost his scoring in the last set he would have beaten durrant who was choking.
Graphics show Maria O Briend instead of O Brien, and zero mention of the Youth final.
One player in the entire day averaged over 90....ONE
DAY 7
Comms start off the day telling us that Unterbuchner is a "top player who does nothing special". I dont think the comms realize how true that is for all the wrong reasons.
Mandigers is an even bigger jobber.He has a dart at double 12 and misses by almost a fucking foot when he hits 11 and almost the outer bull.
Mandigers later has a dart again at double 12 and hits the single 9 and on double 6 hits single 13.
Paul Nicholson tells us about Phil Taylor singing a Lady Gaga song to himself backstage, and goes on about all sorts of nonsense like trying to speak german and asking about fear of clowns, whilst scumbag Rawling thinks he is hilatious naming the man utd players on the masks of the crowd. Mandigers almost hits the treble 20 when on tops,
Unterbucher on 90 does not get a shot at the bull after fucking up. he then gets no shot at the bull on 84 when he fucks up again.
While going for treble 20 Unterbuchner hit a single 4 and comms refer to this shit as " a scratchy phase".
Unterbuchber misses double 16 and comms say"by fractions its just outside".....it was inches away and nearer to double 7.
Both players averaged in the 80s, so only a matter of time til some deluded cunt claims it was a classic.
Only the bdo could do an interview when a translator is needed and the translator's microphone was not working....priceless.
Next up was Yoko Ono against Bobby George, and when this shit was over the highlights consisted of the sole single 180 in the match hit by Suzuki in the first throw of the first leg. All downhill after that.
Not only was it another average in the 70s racked up, but an average in the 60s as well...remember folks this is a "world pro"
I did enjoy the silence by the racist scum as another Johnny Foreigner won, and even better another "friend" of the Lincolnshire clique was bowled out.
Yet again the discussion starts about what trades the players work in,and how they could build a house.
Mr Potato Head Scott Waites is called Huddersfield Finest,
I read on a forum that Whitehead has Lakeside 2018 on his shirt instead of 2019.
Comms decide averages now matter yet again and go on how Waites averaged 109 in the first set.
By the time the 3rd set is going all mentions of averages are gone and they seemingly don't apply and how averages are not on trophies or cheques.
After the second set the interval music sounds, confuses Waites but there was no interval scheduled.
Scott Waites averages 110 in a set and guess what...averages matter yet again.
Whitehead starts a leg with a ton and then a maximum, and Rawling says the 9 darter is on.
Comms tell us at the end Waites "cruises into the semi"..to be fair we got a game that is very very rare in the bdo. A game where BOTH players averaged over 89.
The evening session starts with the place barely half full.
Tickets for the final are still on sale...I blame all those foreigners doing well, how dare they upset the balance of the annual bdo travel club yearly piss up by winning their games....the bastards.
Anastasia against Lorraine first up. I wanted the winner of this to win the comp outright, and also piss of the Lincolshire mong posse.
When Ana is on a finish for a leg the camera pans to the crowd to some simpleton in fancy dress and the comms start discussing him and ignore the match.
Scumbag Rawling goes on about equal pay for the munters, who only play a maximum of 3 sets in the semi final when the men could play a total of 11 sets in the semi final. They could pay the munters more, all they have to do is reduce the pathetic prize fund of the men and make it even more pitiful. Maybe Des could do that to help out his wife since she already thinks she is the chairman, and uses the chairmans official facebook account.
The munters should not be paid more, in fact they should be paying me to watch that shit for so long.If the Women believe they are that good and that worthy or being on a par with men then go to q-school and play with the men...oh wait....they wont do that.
The match ends with 2 more averages in the 70s, and was the worst performance of the week by Anastasia and possibly the best by Lorraine.
Winstanley got to the Munters final with averages of 69.25, 73.04 and 75.18....and they want equal pay.
The final is a win win for me as if Winstanley who I want to win, does lose, it will mean the Johnny Foreigner will win and we all know that will piss of the racists, xenophobes, the linconshire mutants, the ukip supporters, the BNP and EDL mutants, the ex cons in the audience and on the payroll, the Brexit supporters, etc.
Up next were 2 players who could play Aliens on Star Trek without the need for make up.
Bottler O Shea was trying to depress people by telling us of a person who most people never even heard of had died.
McKinstry has 141 left, while Bells Palsy had 147 left. McKinstry had the darts and Nicholson says " I think Kyle might have the advantage"...Really ?
McKinstry with 5 left busts it by hitting 18.
Comms asking what "football team McKinstry supports" automatically presuming he supports a game that is not called football over here but referred to "soccer", since Football in small villages like the one where Kyle comes from it is usually GAA Football.
Disabled darts is mentioned. We already had a week of spastics fucking shit at the board.
When Phantom of the Opera has a great third set, the averages matter again....imagine my surprise.
Darts on Ferries get a mention, probably a nod to Keith Dellar who whored out Adrian Lewis on the ferry exhibition circuit and fucked his career.
Kyle goes to shit on his scoring and finishing and the parasite Durrant takes advantage as he always does of cunts who roll over.
The Ted Hankey nostalgia conversation starts up yet again.
Once Bells Palsy went 3-1 up that was it, The disfigured cunt mops up wins against players who resign themselves to defeat, and the reality is once the short arsed cunt with his robotic hand movement and ugly grimaces gets challenged by a player who wont roll over he will fold.....remember the shock on Bells Palsy face in the Grand Slam when he could not understand why Andrew Gilding would not roll over.
I think Waites has the beating of him should they meet.
Up next was the visibly disgusting and obese alcoholic Human whale Andy Fordham who sounded like a fucking mental patient who spent decades drinking himself to death and rotting his mind. I have no doubt some cunt will be offended by my comments, but every single bit of it is true.
In true Lakeshite form the fat hun cunt is referred to as a "legend". This is a term bandied about non stop to describe the long term members of the travel club who get together at Bob's for the yearly piss up.
Up next was darts biggest attention whore,the obese farmer who constantly gropes himself. the egomaniac who strolls as slow as possible on the stage except when its to try strangle pensioners like Deta Hedmans pet gimp then he runs at pace.The sack of shit that tags everyone he can in his tweets to get attention.
His opponent was the queer looking coal scavenger Jim Williams....you know things are bad when you want a taffy sheep shagger to win.
After just 3 legs which are a 13, 13 and 11 darter, the averages are been mentioned and are important again since they are over 100
Comms wanking themselves raw, mostly Mason, the same one who constantly repeats over and over that averages are not written on trophies now wont shut up.
What are the odds averages will long be ignored come set 6 when they will be under 100 ?
Comms mention the high averages won't be maintained because of "heat" at Lakeshite.
Is Ally Pally known for its sub zero temperatures and Arctic conditions which lead to higher averages ?.The Circus Tavern must have been an open air event. The Matchplay at Blackpool during summer must have been freezing as they had no shortage of ton plus averages either.
As the averages drop the excuses become more evident.
Rawling says he didn't get where he is today by not knowing his unicorns as the cameras focus on some idiot in fancy dress in the crowd.
Mitchell makes its 2-2 in sets and celebrates by trying to mock Williams who is celebrating more.
Rawling the scumbag mentioning again not for the first time this week that a "big man staring at you" is some how intimidating. That might work on pensioners who Mitchell has a history of threatening. What is it with bdo scum who think aggression and violence is the way, and everyone is scared shitless of these cunts.
As I mentioned, come set 6 the averages would be under 100, and sure enough that was the case. In an amazing coincidence, the comms were not mentioning the averages all of a sudden.
The 7th set starts with the averages at around 93 each....a good ten points lower than the first set. Seems the averages don't matter any longer again, its all about the pressure now. What was I thinking.
Comms are so bored they are asking people to send them in jokes to give them a laugh such is their interest in this game.
Mason says 164 is 60, 54 double 18...
Mitchell gets upset at a dickhead whistling. I was told the racist lakeshite crowd was suppose to be well behaved.
Every session of this heap of shit comp had a player upset with the scum in attendance.
Williams beats the farmer whose tried use gamesmanship to win games and the farmer is absolutely seething. How long before he blames the crowd for losing even though he was one leg away from losing before the whistles ?
GAMES PLAYED SO FAR - 50
TOTAL AVERAGES - 100
AVERAGES OVER 90 - 22
AVERAGES IN THE 80S AND UNDER - 78
AVERAGES IN THE 70S AND UNDER - 32
AVERAGES IN THE 60 AND UNDER - 10
AVERAGES IN THE 50S AND UNDER - 2
78% OF ALL AVERAGES IN THE ENTIRE COMPETITION WERE IN THE 80S OR LOWER.
THEY CALL THIS SHIT A WORLD PRO
This is why 700 tickets were given away free. Who in their right mind would attend this mid 80s horseshit other than a mentally disturbed Belgian pensioner, and some brainwashed defective cunts who all met on an internet forum since they have no friends outside the internet. the travel club for their yearly piss up and the mong posse of Lincoln.
Imagine paying money to go to this....if that is not a sign of mental illness I don't know what it.
Time for some tweets that stood out this week.
Paddy Power, Bet 365 and other betting companies have been lashing some beauties out.
First up this Brummie cunt who admitted in the past his learning difficulties, and who reads this blog every week,even imitated my Knob of the Week and then pretends he does not read the blog.
How about the cunt Rawling, who last week was telling people to "say it to their face", he follows it up with this "I got friends" bullshit.This follows last weeks "say it to their face" crap he typed.
Then this by Knob of the Week winner blocking John Lowe, Nicholson use to think he was a bad boy of darts. The little shit is a utter snowflake.
Check out this mental patient who thinks criticism is not allowed.
Playing shit in their most important event of the year should not matter....what a fucking imbecile
And of course A mention for the Dinosaur Tommy the Jew Thompson who had a hissyfit after the Youth final because the PDC's JDC was mentioned,. Tommy crying as always about the lack of respect for the EDO and all that he has supposedly done for youth darts.
Thing is Tommy no one knows or gives a flying fuck.
If a kid was playing darts why would he spend hours treying to find info when the JDC are more prominent. England is not the centre of the Universe, and if an English kid wanted to find out he would have no trouble in finfing all the info via the JDC or other Academies that are better atteneded and advertised.
Moaning about Eurosport not mentioning the EDO is your problem not theirs.
Maybe Eurosport know nothing about your youth comps, why would they, its edo shit, no one cares.
Be it EDO, BDO, WDF, or whatever, deep down no one gives a flying fuck no kid dreams of being Tony O Shea, Martin Adams or Gary Jobson and the rest of the piss ed travel club, they dream about the PDC.
There was so much stuff I left out, from the pics of the Wayne Warren interview and the "Fuck her right in the Pussy" sign to the Bo Selecta Walk on placard.
Left out a heap of howlers, as there really was so much stuff. I could be typing this until Sunday.
Lakeshite truly is the comedy gift that just keeps on giving.
The best comedy festival in the World, even if its unintentional.
I have no doubt the number people threatening to give me slaps will increase this week, a sure sign i am doing this right.
